Days where you want to cry

I began writing this Nov. 10, but have just now gotten around to finishing it, which is why the references don't add up.

We have been studying grace in church this month and I have been going to a Bible study every Wednesday, so between having so many reminders of God in my life this week, I have had a much calmer sense about me recently. I credit this calm feeling for being the only reason I did not end up crying Friday evening, even though one more experience might have just pushed me over the edge. My friend Gweneth had a great analogy for Brussels. She said the worst thing about it is that you are tricked into thinking that you are really making it and doing just fine, and then WHAM, all of the sudden you are clipped from behind and you are reminded of just how little you know.

Last Friday I was checking our mail outside when a woman let her dog take a gigantic, smelly, liquidy poop two feet away from where I was standing, just on the other side of our front door. I was in such shock that I didn't say anything, so I was mad at myself the rest of the day for not knowing enough French to yell at her, and for not thinking quickly enough to just say anything at all. That evening Kyle and I were leaving for the weekend and as we locked the front door to our building, we looked four feet away to the next building and saw a man urinating onto the side of the next apartment building. This time we didn't want to say anything because it was obvious we were leaving for the weekend (our suitcases were in our hands) and the man had just seen us lock the door, so he knew where we lived. Even worse was that this man didn't even look homeless. He had on normal clothes and was carrying a bag from a store where he had obviously purchased something. In case you are wondering, we live in a really nice neighborhood with lots of great restaurants and shopping. The surrounding area from our apartment is often mentioned in tour books as a place to visit, so it is not like we live in the dumps. People around here just behave this way on a daily basis.

Monday morning our computer monitor just wouldn't turn on, so Tuesday morning I hauled it all the way back to the store where we bought it. I waited in line for 10 minutes, elbowing a few people so that they wouldn't cut me off and when I told the man it wasn't working, he gave me the number of the monitor company and told me I should go home and call them instead of bringing it to the store. I was hoping (although after living in Brussels for two years, I knew this was a pipe dream) that they would just exchange the monitor for another one, but of course that didn't happen. I asked the man if the store could just send the monitor in to the company and he said that that would take over a month and that it would be faster for me to call them. I couldn't help but think that he was just being lazy and not wanting to have to deal with the problem.

So Wednesday I called the French phone number and, when I finally got through, I was told to call the Flemish number instead, because they would speak English. Over the next three days, I called the Flemish number and sat on hold for 15 minutes then got hung up on, 10 minutes and then I hung up, and then another 8-minute call where I finally hung up again, never once getting an answer. In Belgium they rarely have toll-free numbers, and there is a charge for every phone call you make. So far, I have spent 3 euros on parking to be told to come home and call, and 8 euros in phone charges to never be able to talk to a customer service person. Kyle wrote the company an e-mail and guess what their answer was: "Call us to talk about the problem." Kyle called and was on hold for 30 minutes, before he finally spoke to someone who told him to contact UPS to set up a pick-up time for them to come pick up the monitor and have it sent to the company to be repaired.

This past Saturday was Armistice Day (Veteran's Day), but whereas in the States my mom told me she was going to a Veteran's Day sale, instead everything was closed on Saturday in Brussels. So Friday night I had to go to the grocery store because we were having people over for lunch on Saturday and we would also need food for Sunday, because every store is always closed on Sunday. I went to one grocery store and there was not one parking space available. In fact, there was a line of cars just pulled over to the side and waiting for someone to even come out of the store so that they could do the 'slow stalk' you often see in the parking lot at After Thanksgiving Day Sales in the States. I finally gave up even attempting to find a parking space at that store and went to another grocery store. This one also had no parking, but after creeping along for a few minutes, I miraculously found one tucked away in a corner. I elbowed my way through the crowded store, bagged all my own groceries, made it home and then hauled them up four flights of stairs. Thank goodness for good Belgian beer on weeks like this one!

I'm Sinking

We went to a marriage enrichment retreat with our church this past weekend. Among the 20 people in attendance, the countries represented were: USA, Scotland, South Africa, Malaysia, Holland, Germany, France and Luxembourg. So the languages that were heard throughout the weekend were English, Dutch, German and French. With so many different cultures and languages, the main comments you heard were, "What does that word mean?" or "How would you explain that in _____ language."

I think it is wonderful to learn things from so many cultures and languages because by no means does American English have the perfect definition for every word. But when you have to explain or simplify every fifth word you say, it can become exhausting. I try never to use contractions or any "big" words that someone learning English might not have come across yet. In case you wanted to get an idea of just how much extra work it requires, imagine having a conversation with someone while both of you are trying to walk backward the entire time. It just takes that much extra thought and effort that it can sometimes make you just not want to say what you are thinking!

A few examples from this weekend: How would you explain to someone what a hub (like a large airport) is in simple English? It is also challenging to hear a French person speak English because they do not have the H sound in their vocabulary (so Thomas sounds like Tomas). At one point someone was using either driving or thriving in a sentence, but I could never figure out which.

For some reason (don't ask me why) I used the phrase "Keep on truckin' " in a sentence while I was talking to the group. Afterward, my conversation with someone from Luxembourg went something like this,
"What does 'keep on truckin' mean?"
Well it is what drivers of 18 wheelers say.
What is an 18 wheeler?
It is a big truck that drives across the USA and has 18 wheels.
So what is "truckin?"
Truckin is driving.
So I can say I am truckin today?
No, truckin is just a slang word.
What is slang?

Below is a commercial that sums up many of my day to day interactions here:

Happy Halloween! (among many other things)

No, I haven't slipped on a big pile of dog poop, cracked my head and been laid up in the hospital. I just haven't had time for blogging because I've been really busy babysitting, showing newcomers around Brussels and being social.

In the last week, Kyle celebrated his 28th birthday. We went to a great restaurant just around the corner from us; La Quincaillerie. It used to be an old hardware store, so it definitely has character!

It is amazing that some of the people that are closest to me in my life all have birthdays within five days of each other:
Carla, my best friend from high school
Kyle (enough said)
Kelly, one of my best friends in Belgium
SK, one of my best friends in college

Plus, two of Kyle's best friends from high school, Jigar and Keich, were born on Oct. 29 and 30, respectively. So I guess if you have a birthday between Oct. 26-30, there is a good chance you might become a really good friend of ours!

I have been reading A Year in the Merde and I highly recommend it, especially to anyone that has lived in France or Belgium and might speak a little French. The book is written in English, but there are some French phrases that make it even funnier. (Note: "Merde" means "shit" in French but is used a bit more loosely or casually.) The author has a really funny way of summing up so many crazy experiences that we have also encountered here.

We had incredible fall weather through all of October. Each day was just a light jacket or sweater type of day, with sunshine in abundance. I don't think I have ever talked about or had such strong feelings about the weather as I do here. All of my friends agree that we are so happy to have had such good weather, but at the same time, we never know what sunny day will be our last for the next five months, so we enjoy each one to its fullest. As wonderful as that is, you can't get a lot done when you are trying to be outside all day for 31 days straight!

One of the other things I have done recently is take a tour of a volunteer Emergency Rescue Service that a woman who is active in the AWCB helps to fund (she is married to a Belgian). The group was started because they did not feel that emergency service was rapid or well-trained enough in the rural area of southern Brussels. To give you an idea about working with the Belgian goverment -- this volunteer group raised enough funds to buy three helicopters for air rescues. The Belgian government decided that the group was infringing on the government's ability to save people, so it told them to stop using their helicopters. However, the Belgian government only had one helicopter, and no money to buy another one. So six months out of the year, the Belgian government helicopter was in the northern part of Belgium (Flanders) and the other six months of the year it was in the southern part (Wallonia). You better hope you don't need to be airlifted during the wrong month! Click here for the pictures (but I will warn you that they aren't too exciting.)

On October 28, Kelly and her friend Donna organized a Trick or Treat on our street. Donna is an American married to a Belgian and she and Kelly wanted to share the Halloween tradition with many of their children's friends and parents. After the kids were done, the parents all got together for a party at Donna's house. Halloween is just starting to become known in Belgium, and somehow the Belgians picked up on the dressing up in costume idea, but didn't catch on that you can dress up as anything you want -- because they ONLY dress up as scary things (witch, devil, or anything that requires only wearing black). Of course I was thinking like an American when I got our costumes and so I went as Snow White and Kyle went as my prince. At one point during the party I looked around and realized that every other person in the room was wearing black, except for good ole' Snow White. Click here to see the photos.

Troc 'n' Roll

This past Wednesday, my friends Maggie, Yvette and I had a great day antiquing. Throughout Belgium there are Salvation Army-type stores that sell both clothes and old (antique if you are lucky) furniture. Within the French-speaking area of Belgium (Brussels included) they are called Troc and within the Flemish-speaking area they are called De Kringwinkel or Kringloop. Thanks to Amy Chan, we discovered the joys and treasures at Kringloops all around Belgium. She and her friends used to go once a week to check out the new goods. It is amazing the beautiful things you can get for such a deal! I will definitely be shopping there a lot more when I have an exact date that we will be moving back.

The next day I went to an exhibit about how Herbert Hoover coordinated the effort for Americans and Brits to send food to Belgium after WWI. It is just amazing how small the world is. After receiving so much food, some of the children wrote thank you notes back to the States. The exhibit coordinators found some of these old letters and contacted the homes of the return addresses on the envelopes. It turns out that the (now adult) child of one of the children that received food still lives at the house his mother grew up in, and to top it all off, he married the (now adult) child of one of the other children in the picture. Click below to see the pictures and it will all make a lot more sense!

Thursday night Maggie made some great vegetarian Mexican food for our friend Elizabeth's 35th birthday. Between our Northern friends, our Southern friends and our Australian friends, we had a lot of interesting conversations trying to explain our crazy customs. I was in the kitchen, out of earshot, when the Australians were making fun of how Americans will dress up in costume for anything. I came back in on the tail end of the conversation just in time to add, "Oh yeah, I used to have a bag full of costumes in my trunk all through college because you never knew when you might be going to a '70s party, or a flapper party, or a country hoe down!" Apparently I didn't help to dispel their theory.

Click here for a few photos.

Do re mi

I have not mentioned this on the blog yet, but any of my good friends could probably attest to what a bad singer I am. I am serious -- I CAN NOT sing a note. In fact, when I am mad at Kyle and want to annoy him, I start singing just because it is like form of torture to him. My singing is so bad that sometimes when I am in the car alone singing along to a song I will hear myself and have to stop because it hurts my ears so much.

I didn't think there was another person in the world that had as bad of a voice as I do until I just clicked on this link. The amazing part is that Jordan thinks she has an OK singing voice! At least I know how horrible mine is...

Beauty at the click of a mouse

If you have read my blogs in the past, you know how I feel about how computer graphics have warped our image of beauty beyond a normal idea. Below is an interesting video of how makeup and computers can alter a persons appearance and why we should never compare ourselves to ads.

Coupe Normal

Kyle: Yeah, the guy at the hairdressers spoke English.

Emily: He did? How did you figure that out?

Kyle: Well, when he asked in French what I wanted to drink and I responded "normal haircut" I guess he kind of figured out I didn't speak French, so he flipped into English then.

Pet Peeves

I am about to vent about three topics that I know a few friends and family members have, so I am hesitant to write, but oh well...

First, couples that don't have the same last names drive me crazy. I don't care whether the husband takes the wife's last name or vice versa, but I just like it to be the same. Not sharing the same last name causes many problems and much confusion and I encounter all of those problems in membership at the women's club. I waste so much time looking into membership payments that were made by the husband, so the bank transfer lists his name, but the membership is under the wife's name. After several phone calls and e-mails we figure out the problem and I want to say, "If you just had the same name this would all be solved!"

Along with the last name thing, I also don't like the hyphenated last names. It is always a mouthful to say them. For example, just a few double last names from people I know here in Brussels; Morgenthaler-Vandlik or Nijkerk-Bogen or Semmelhaack-Duchene .

One of the worst times for people to have different or double last names is when you are trying to address something to them. Is it:
David and Ann Vankoughnett-Snediker or
David Vankoughnett and Ann Snediker or
David Snediker and Ann Vankoughnett-Snediker

If you have a different or double last name, I think you don't have any right to ever get annoyed if someone can't get your name right in correspondence. How am I supposed to remember that your husband kept his name, but you combined yours OR you both took each others names, but switched the order so your last name is first and his last name is second. I am still waiting to meet a married couple that both were born with double last names and insit on keeping them; Mr. and Mrs Heik-Jokinen-Unterhauser-Schonenberg.

The other thing that bothers me is when people have 'family' e-mail addresses versus having their own. It is highly unlikely that I am going to write something bad to a girlfriend about her husband or child, but I still would at least like to know that her husband and child aren't reading about my visit to the OB-GYN. E-mail addresses are free -- get one for yourself! On that same note, I hate when people use their local internet providers for their e-mail rather than a worldwide company. I say this because I have so many people new to Brussels that set up an e-mail account with Brutele, Telenet, or Skynet. Then when they move and their internet is shut down, we have no way to get in touch with them if they have not left forwarding information. Just set up an account with Yahoo or Gmail and you will never have to change your e-mail address again!

What a ways to start a Monday! Now that I have gotten all that off my chest, I sure do feel better though!

Bella Italia

Wow, what a great trip. Although we flew in on Friday and flew out on Sunday, I had a great time in Sestri Levante, Italy. Our hotel was beautiful and the city was even better. It is a tiny town located on a peninsula, so there is water all around it. The town was small enough that I could easily wander it in a day and not have to take public transportation! Friday night kicked off the conference and there was a speaker (the former owner of PayPal). Afterwards we had a five course dinner -- lots of pasta and wine! Saturday I meandered through the city while Kyle attended such riveting lectures as "Privatization in Economic Theory" and "Is Codification of Informal Property Institutions Necessary for Economic Development?" Saturday night we went to dinner with some of his conference friends and ate a great pasta place.

I have decided that I just love Italy. Every bit of food I had was amazing, the language is beautiful and the people were so nice. Click here to see the pictures.

Think Like Rowena

My whole life, I grew up hearing, "Now, what would Rowena do?" or "Think like Rowena." In case you were wondering, Rowena Jenkins is a wonderful friend of our family. Rowena and David met my mom and dad when they were all just married and living at West Point. For the last 30 years (at least) our two families have gone to the beach every year for a week.

Rowena is a saint on earth. She is incredibly sweet, kind, and most of all helpful. Even though she and my mom would go for a year without seeing each other, they would work like a well oiled machine when they were at the beach together. My mom credited this to Rowena always thinking, "What needs to be done next?" Although I resented every time my mom use to say "Think like Rowena" while growing up, I have found that after hearing it thousands of times and now living on my own, I really do think more like Rowena. I (usually) notice what needs to be done and I do it. I am so lucky to have married Kyle who is also good at seeing what needs to be done and doing it.

Rowena is on my mind because I just finished helping out with an event tonight. It was run by several women, but one woman's husband was there also. As we were cleaning up, there were several heavy tables that needed to be moved. The husband helped out with one table and then stood to the side watching us clean up after that. I was most shocked when he watched his wife and I move one table, walk right back past him, and move the next table, all as he stood back and watched us the whole time with a beer in his hand. I know Kyle is my husband and I am biased and also that I am from the South where we are used to a bit of chivalry, but I can not imagine Kyle ever standing by and watching a woman lift a heavy table and not offer to help.

So next time you are at an event, don't just stand around. Say, "What can I do next?" and think like Rowena!

What a Holiday!

Kyle and I are headed to the airport for a quick weekend trip to Italy. I can't believe my luck, but he was planning on going there for a conference, and the coordinators of the conference called him and said, "Would your wife want to come also? We will pay for her flight." Since the organizers are planning everything for us, all I basically know is that we are flying out at 11am today, and arriving in Genoa around 2pm. I think the town we are staying in is Sestri-Levante, but other than that I have no information. I have no clue how we will get from the airport to our hotel, mainly because I don't even know what hotel we are staying at. Although this might be unnerving to some, I am so happy to not know one detail of the trip. We have done lots of travelling and although it is so much fun, it can also be very stressful. Often times I get off the plane in a new place and immediately feel on edge. We have to find our luggage, find a cab, find our hotel, find food etc.

For this trip, I can't worry, or think too much, or get my hopes up for something amazing because I basically have no clue about anything! I am just going to show up and be told what to do, and where to go -- I love it!

Wandering Woman

One of my favorite sayings is, "Not all who wander are lost." I do a lot of wandering around and I think it is great. As my grandmother Moa would say, I "piddled" around all day Sunday and had a wonderful time. Kyle was in the States this past weekend, so I had the house to myself. Of course I missed him, but I must also say that I also thoroughly enjoyed just doing exactly what I wanted when I wanted and not telling anyone about it.

Sunday I woke up and went to the brocante down in Waterloo (about 30 min. outside of Brussels). A brocante is like a flea market and this one is set up outside with over 100 vendors selling nick-nacks. I had a nice time browsing at a leisurly pace, but only came away with a two euro scarf, so now I can practice all of the scarf tying techniques I learned recently. Afterwards I went to a precious breakfast place/farm where all of their eggs are fresh and they bake their own bread. It was so quaintly European that I could hardly stand it. (However, it was also so European that the quiche I ordered had some weird hairy looking little fish on it.) I had a nice breakfast while reading my book and taking in the atmosphere. Next I headed to a glass show just a few kilometers away. In case you don't know, I absolutely love glass, especially blown glass. I had a nice time wandering around and seeing so many beautiful things, but I didn't buy anything.

On my way home, I decided that it was just too nice outside to not go on a walk, so I pulled over and took a walk through the forest. Brussels has an incredible amount of forest and there are great walking/biking paths throughout. One of the best things about the day was really observing so many typically Belgian/French things. As I got out of my car to go on the walk I saw a big group of people all in horse riding clothes opening a few bottles of champagne near a picnic table. It turns out they had been on a ride and were taking a break. Talk about a great way to spend a Sunday -- riding through the beautiful forest only to stop and have a glass of champagne with your friends in the middle of it all!
After my walk it was still too nice to go inside, so I went to a restaurant, had a glass of wine and read my book some more. I was amazed to really see just how laid back and family oriented Belgians are on a Sunday. There is an area next to the restaurant patio where kids can roller skate. It was fun to see how the kids would go off to skate while the parents (and their dogs) would sit and have a drink, then their meal, then dessert, then coffee, all while the children would check in periodically and then continue to skate. It really looked like it could be an all day affair.

After reading a bit, I came home, checked a few e-mails and then was off to church. We go to a pretty unique church. It was started here by four American couples, but many of them have lived in Europe and even farther abroad before. Their goal is to appeal to people who have a negative idea about church, which is part of the reason that our services take place in a brasserie (basically like an upscale bar that serves food). It is a very laid back, but close knit group. Never before in all my years of going to church have I actually known the names, faces and stories of so many of my fellow parishoners. I have definitely never known my minister and his family as well as I do here. I took a photo of our friend Richard and his daughter. Richard is on of the best dad's I have ever seen and every time I see he and his daughters together it makes me miss my dad. It is really cute because his girls are about 9 and 11 and are both really tall for their age, so seeing them run around and try to curl up in his lap, they look like big puppies.

After church I went to a dinner paty my new friend Meredith was hosting. It is amazing how many people I have met here just through friends at home that put us in touch with each other. Meredith was a college roomate of our friend Katie Wells. Thanks to Katie passing along our information, now Meredith and I are friends too! Meredith works at the Embassy, so she knows a variety of people I would not normally get the chance to meet. I love meeting people that are here for the US Embassy or NATO. Because the majority of them were working at an assignment in a much rougher place before this (ex. Baghdad, Haiti, Mali) they all think Brussels is the most wonderful and easy place to live. It is refreshing to hear their positive attitudes after hearing a few negative ones from women at the AWCB (who I don't think have it too rough :) ).

I am trying out a new photo service, but so far I haven't been too pleased. Has anyone else had good luck or problems with PhotoShow? I know a few of my photos have typos in them, but I can't get the program to make my changes. Ugh. Anyways, turn on your speakers enjoy the photos (they may take awhile to load).

Market Day!

One of the things I like most in Brussels are the open air markets. We have one a block from our house every Wednesday from 2-8pm. I absolutely love wandering through there, buying bread, quiche and most importantly, my fresh flowers. Every week I treat myself to 5 euros worth of roses or tulips or gerber daisies. They will usually last about a week and they make me smile every time I see them. It is a wonderful simple pleasure. Below is a picture of the flowers I just bought for two friends. The florists here always wrap the flowers up in colorful paper that make such a beautiful presentation. Each of these bouquets were only 7 euros!

Do you speak English?

At church tonight I sat next to a man from Colombia (South America) that is married to a British woman. He has been living in Brussels for the past six years and is about to move to Washington, D.C. for his wife's job. He was just there recently to pick out an apartment and attempt to get things settled and is back in Brussels for a few weeks to over see the move. I was asking him about his thoughts on D.C. and how his visit was there when he brought up an interesting point. He basically said that he had thought he would be fine moving to the States because he speaks English. However, on this past visit, he was shocked by what horrible and unintelligible English so many people speak. Now we know he speaks Spanish, so I don't think he was referring to anyone that only speaks a little English or that has learned it as a second language and speaks with a heavy accent. He said that he had to ask a woman on the phone to repeat herself three times and then he finally handed the phone to his wife to see if she could understand what was being said. They finally figured out that the woman on the other end was just saying, "How can I help you?"

I can fully attest that in each of the times I have been back to visit the States since being here, I am always shocked at how poorly and mumbled some people speak. Over here I am used to listening to people speak when English is not their first language and they might have a heavy accent. However, the "English" that I hear in the States is nothing like that. It is mumbled and slurred and sentences are not said in the proper form. I can't imagine what it must be like for someone to have spent years learning English, just to go to the States and not be able to understand what Americans are saying.

Click here for an example.

PS--I found this video clip when I was surfing the web. When I just watched it again, I noticed that the phone number is for an Atlanta church. A perfect example of what I hear when I go home to Atlanta. Even funnier is that the pastor's name is Tony Smith -- my dad's name!

Trends

It was Jams and Jellies in grade school; a Gap outfit and a Jessica McClintock dress in high school; New Balance shoes and a Kate Spade purse in college. But now that I am in Brussels, there are two new things that every American woman over here feels the need to have -- a Longchamp purse and Polish Pottery. I got my purse for our anniversary and today I finally got some polish pottery. Of course, I had never heard of either of these things before I got here, but now I definitely know how to spot both.

Amy and I with our Longchamps

You can't got to a party (at least of someone who is a member of the AWCB) and not see some polish pottery there. I will admit that before I even knew it was a cool thing to have, I liked it the first time I saw it. It is cute, casual and can be mixed and matched with everything. I have never made as many appetizers and desserts nor attended as many social functions as I have in the last two years (well, I was pretty social in college, but I sure wasn't having to bring veggie dip and an apple crumble to the keg parties). All this to say, I know this pottery will be put to good use.

So today we loaded up 20 women in a bus and drove 3 hours up to the Netherlands to buy some polish pottery. Yes, I know we weren't in Poland, but that would have been a 10 hour drive, so we went to this outlet instead. On the way up there a woman in the bus demonstrated a variety of ways to tie scarves. Scarves really are popular over here, but I couldn't help but laugh at myself that I was sitting on a bus practicing tying scarves. The one that makes me laugh the most it the bow scarf that makes you look like a newscaster from 1989. Nothing says sexy and young like a 27 year old in a bow scarf with some apple crumble!

I am trying out a new photo comany (thanks to aunt Carol) so I hope it turns out ok. Turn on your seakers and click here to view.

If you have a free minute, check out the technology, hair, and especially the purple bow scarf in this video-- it cracks me up!

Green, Green Grass

It is not that I think the grass is always greener on the other side, it is just that I sometimes forget to stop and realize just how green my grass is over here in Belgium. I have been homesick these past few weeks. Not homesick enough to want to move back just yet, only homesick enough to want to fly home for three days, see my friends and family, eat Mexican food and Chick-fil-A, and then return to Belgium. A friend of mine wrote me after I had mentioned my homesickness and reminded me to enjoy my time over here, because soon enough it will end. When it does end, I will have to face the sad reality that many, many expats have told me about: Once you are an expat you are not at home in any country. Your expat country will never be home to you, but you have been away from your home country long enough to recognize its bad side, too. Obviously there are good and bad things about both places, but in case you want to know what I think about each place, here you go:

Pros of Brussels:
--an open-air market is taking place in some part of Brussels every day
--there are fresh flowers everywhere
--there are few chains, so every store has unique things
--Europeans are into their environment, so everyone takes recycling seriously
--although there are not as many choices, it sure does make a decision easier!
--fresh bread is available at every corner
--meals take two hours so that you can enjoy and savor the experience (only a "pro" if you are in the mood and have the time for a long meal, Kyle notes)
--everyone has a slower pace of life
--there is not as much of a sense of "keeping up with the Joneses"
--smaller cars are much easier to get around in
--I am constantly surrounded by so many other cultures and types of food
--no one really knows what the norm is, so everything is pretty much acceptable
--when the weather is nice, everyone is outside
--although it is annoying for all places to be closed on Sundays, it is also nice and you eventually get used to it

Cons of Brussels
--there is always dog poop -- and usually some litter -- on the street
--people can be rude
--horrible weather
--people drive like maniacs

Pros of America
--everyone is so friendly
--great food (that I am used to)
--efficiency
--anything and everything that you could ever want is available anytime/anyplace
--even though the country is divided in politics, we all still live together (fairly) peacefully

Cons of America
--consumerism
--too much pressure to keep up with the Joneses
--obesity

So I got to thinking of this topic for a few reasons. First (as I mentioned before), I was incredibly busy last week. Although I always knew how lucky I was not to be working over here, I sometimes forgot just how lucky I was to have all day free to do what I wanted. It is amazing how it only takes being busy for a few days to help remind me that I should appreciate my free time when I get it back again (which will be in just a few weeks when life slows down). This reminds me of what my sister told me when I was fresh out of college and looking for a job, "Don't worry about figuring out what you want or like in a company before you start. Begin working there and within the first week you will figure out exactly what you don't like and you can start narrowing things down from there in your next job."

I have also been thinking about this idea of appreciation in relation to our car. Tonight I told Kyle that I think I was actually scarred from riding public transportation for almost two years straight -- I can't get enough of the car! I feel just like I am 16 years old again and finally have the freedom that comes with wheels. I look out our apartment window at the car at least two to three times a day just to check on it. While we were on vacation I told Kyle that I actually missed the car and wanted to hug it. Today Kyle took the car to work and I rode the bus to do my errands. As I was standing outside in the drizzly rain waiting for the bus, I was loving the thought of the car even more than usual. However, as important as I think it is to always be appreciative of things, I think I have gone overboard with the car. I can't change the radio station without thinking, "I love this, I love this, I love this." Now I need to get my mind off the car and focus on the road!

Wonder Women

August, September and January are always my busiest months and this September is no exception. I have basically been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all week, which is why I haven't blogged. In fact, today is the first time since Monday I have even cooked anything at home, and I just unpacked my suitcase that seemed to have exploded all over the floor of our living room.

Although I have been busy, I can't complain because the people I am surrounded by are just as busy as me and always amaze me with the things they do. To highlight a few amazing and inspiring women:

Lisa and Esmee-- These two ladies are in charge of the "Hints for Living in Brussels" class that the AWCB puts on. The class consists of six days of classes totaling 18 hours of information taught by the 25 different speakers they bring in to cover all of the topics. There are 63 women in the class, so that means organizing the nametags, informational binders and snacks for all of them, not to mention all of the questions and hand-holding that 63 women all new to Brussels might need. I don't know how Lisa and Esmee do it because they are really involved in other volunteer positions too.

JoEllen -- My friend JoEllen is in the process of her 18th move, of which this is the fifth international one. As is often the case with big moves, her husband is conveniently on a business trip (in Asia) while she is packing, cleaning, selling cars, closing bank accounts, dealing with utilites and all of the other little hassles that moving requires. I can't imagine packing up my life for the 18th time, and even though she didn't want to make this move, she has handled it with grace and a good spirit.

Pam -- My friend Pam is in charge of the Holiday Bazaar (through the AWCB) which is a weekend event in November where over 100 vendors from all over Europe come to sell their goods. The logistics are mind-boggling, from advertising to parking to food and setup/breakdown. Not only is Pam also the president of her children's schools PTA, but she is always really calm and friendly every time you see her!

Maria -- Maria has 1 1/2-year-old triplets. Not only did she move to Brussels with triplets just a few months ago, but she also brought along her mother. Her father passed away three months before they were supposed to move here and there was no one left to care for her mother who has severe Alzheimer's, so she brought her along too. No one can believe how calm and unfazed by life Maria is -- she is a model to us all.

Because it is my blog and I can, I'll put in my two cents about volunteering. The only way I met all of these amazing women is through my volunteering at the AWCB. Being in membership, I have signed up over 50 women in the last two months. It is always interesting to me to see the different personalities that come through the door. I would estimate that, of the 50 women I have recently signed up, only about 15 of those will do any volunteer work at the club within the next year. Some of the others might get involved at their kids' schools, and the rest will sit at home and complain that they don't have enough friends. Yes, there are ups and downs to volunteering. Sometimes I feel unappreciated and frustrated, but other times I feel great for being able to help out, well informed because I am so involved and always know what is going on, and missed when I am away. I have had such a great time in Brussels because of all the amazing women I have met and I would not have met a fraction of the people I have if it were not for being involved in the American Women's Club.

Live from Croatia

We were pleasantly surprised to find that we have free high-speed Internet in our hotel room, here on the remote island of Kolocep, off the coast of Croatia (near Dubrovnik). It is ironic that when booking hotels for business trips, Kyle has had many instances of asking if a hotel has high-speed Internet, being assured they do, and then, upon arriving, finding that it is either dial-up Internet that you have to pay a lot for it, or there is no Internet at all. Here, we did not even check about the Internet and sure enough, we got it!

We arrived in on Monday after having a quick flight change in Vienna. We had to briskly walk through the Vienna airport to make our next flight, but even at a quick speed, I was amazed at all of the stores and shopping opportunities. I always forget how little worldy commerce Belgium has until I go to any other European country.

Monday we hung out by the pool and relaxed. Tuesday we took the boat into Dubrovnik and wandered around the city for the day. It reminds us both a lot of Venice (minus the canals). But the buildings are all a beautiful sand-colored stone, which gives the city a light, airy feeling. We were able to find the bar that our friends Amy and Nate loved when they were here -- a little hole-in-the-wall place right on the ocean. It was beautiful to sit there enjoying the view.

Wednesday we took a kayak tour around the island we are staying on (Kolocep, pronounced Kolochep). Click here to see how far it was! We swam in this really cool cave and had a nice lunch in the other town on the island. Afterward we took the ferry into Dubrovnik for dinner.

Today we just hung around our hotel and enjoyed sitting out by the pool. I have decided that although I enjoy small islands, I could never live on one. This island has 150 permanent inhabitants and I think I would know each of their life stories in about 2 weeks.

An interesting thing here, as it is through all of Europe, is the topless sunbathing. There was a large group of kids out by the ocean today, all around 8-9 years old. Although most of them had on bathing suits, a few of the girls were only wearing their swimming bottoms. I mentioned to Kyle that I thought they were all close to the age where that probably should not be happening anymore. Just as the words were out of my mouth, though, we glanced to our left and saw a woman about 35 years old lazily walking around topless, so I guess young boys are just used to that sort of thing. The funniest part about the topless woman was that she was with her boyfriend and his friend. I just kept thinking it must be hard to be the friend and act like it is nothing to see the girlfriend of your friend lying around topless. I can tell you that we sat two tables away from them tonight at dinner and all I could think was, "I saw you topless today!"

Tomorrow we are renting a car and heading to Budva, Montenegro (staying in the Hotel Sveti Stefan). Kyle wants to be able to check off a few more countries by driving through Serbia and
Bosnia, but the thought of that scares me a bit. We will see...

(PS--I cannot find the apostrophe on this keyboard, so if some of this has seemed to be oddly phrased, just bear with me.)

On the road again

We finally got our car last week and have been loving it. I never realized how much I thought about and planned my day around when I could catch the bus or when I had to return the Cambio car. Now I can stay out as late as I want -- what freedom!!! Today Kyle and I drove to Tongeren, a town in Belgium that is known for its Sunday antiques fair. The weather was beautful and we had a great time browsing around.

Tomorrow we are headed to Croatia and Montenegro for a week, so I probably won't be posting from there. In the meantime, you can gaze at our car just like we do...

Aunty Em

I had a busy, but nice day. I needed to get some blood work done this morning and while there it struck me just how much one person can make or break your day. The woman working the front desk was flat out rude when I asked her a question. However, you get that often enough that it doesn't phase me too much. Next I went in to get blood drawn and the nurse was so nice. I told him I hated needles/having blood drawn and he said he would even use a children's size needle on me to make me feel better. Just interesting to think that both these people did their job description, but one made me feel bad and the other made me feel so much better.

After that I was off to the NATO Activity Center (or whatever they call it). It is basically a resource center for U.S. Military families here in Brussels to use. They have a library, shopping area, hairdressers etc. I was there to represent the AWCB for the Center's Welcome Fair. I went to this same thing last year and got really homesick after it, not to mention jealous of the people that get to use this place. In the last year I have met some military wives and they always say, "Oh, don't be jealous of the center, it is not that great." Well, it is not great if you are used to going to it often, but if you only get American things after you have flown 9 hours, then it will seem pretty amazing and convient!

While there I came across a vending machine that had Whatchamacallit candy bars and Reese's Pieces candies. I liked both of those in the States, but they weren't ones that I would always pick up first. However, when I saw them today and realized that I was allowed to buy them, I actually let out a squeal. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning -- this kind of candy just for me!!! The center also had a self serve soda fountain (like one you would find anywhere in the States, but are unheard of here). I have gotten used to not having ice in my drinks, but just because I could -- I filled up the whole cup with ice and then Diet Coke. Today was a good reminder to me of why kids shouldn't get everything they want. When you keep something from someone for long enough, it becomes a special treat that can make their whole day. Who knew ice it a cup had that power?!?

I left the NATO Center and picked up my friend Kelly's child Poppy from school. Kelly had to take a quick trip back to the States, so I took care of Poppy for the afternoon. She in just precious. She is 2 1/2 and the most laid back, sweet child around. We had a great time going to the park with our friends Julie Anne, Natan and Kai. After that, we went over to Kate's house to play with her puppy and then back to our house for Mac & Cheese. It was so sweet to see Poppy running over saying, "Emiwy, Emiwy!" I felt like a grandmother because I took so many pictures, but Poppy is so cute I just can't stand it! Click here if you want to see some photos of our play date.

Have you thanked your volunteer today?

The months of August, September and January are always our busiest at the Women's Club. This is because of all the new expats moving here to coincide with the school schedule. Today alone I signed up six new members. I have decided that on average, I spend about 20-30 minutes with each person I sign up. Multiply this by the 40 new members that have signed up these past few months and it all adds up to a lot of talking, venting and questions on the newcomer's part and a lot of listening, sympathizing and work on my part.

I realized today that I need to try and avoid membership/customer service types of jobs in the future. This is because I am too sensitive. At least in a job, you know you are getting paid, so you can ignore some rude comments and just think of the money. But when you are volunteering, you are doing it out of the goodness of your heart, so people being rude to you can hit a little harder. This was the first e-mail I read on Monday morning:

I renewed my membership back in July. I remember being told our membership number and password would remain the same. It seems as this is not the case. I have not received any update on membership number or password. Last year it took about 6 months for me to access the Web site; I hope this is not the case this year.
Please send me my information needed.

The problem with working in membership is that when you realize that 550 members each have an address, e-mail, home phone, cell phone, membership number and Web site password, that gives you 3,300 things to mess up. You could get 95% of those things correct and you would still be messing up 165 people's information.

The majority of our members are really nice people who I enjoy seeing. But it just takes one person to say something rude that can make you wonder why you work so hard. I think many people at the club forget that we are all just volunteers and instead treat us like paid employees. Granted, this was a busier week than normal. But I was doing things at or for the Women's Club for a total of 18 hours this week. Think about it -- 18 hours of doing something you get nothing more than an occasional pat on the back for, and yet people still complain. Ironically enough, it is the people that never volunteer that are the rudest and the people that volunteer all the time that are the nicest.

Food for thought: Are you the complainer or the one that is out there volunteering and trying to make a change?

The Wingfield Warpath

I think I am going to be very disappointed when I move back to the States. I say this because whenever I am misunderstood or someone is rude to me here, I just think, "Once I am back in the States and everyone speaks English, this will be so much better. There is great customer service there and we are all from the same culture, so we will understand each other." However, now that Kyle and Burt are on the warpath against the U.S. Post Office and United Airlines, I am starting to think differently.

Kyle and I are headed to Croatia on September 11. We bought our tickets with our United frequent flier miles four weeks ago. However, since Kyle's mileage number was listed with an address in the States, they had to send the tickets to his Dalton address -- there was no possibility of e-tickets. A week later they arrived at the Wingfields' house. Burt kindly took them to the Post Office. He debated about Global Priority versus registered mail. The clerk told him registered mail was the most secure, so he went with that.

Well it turns out that the tickets were so registered and secure that the Post Office could never track where they actually were. It took Burt three days of phone calls from Dalton to Chattanooga to Nashville to Washington, D.C., to find the tickets. The Post Office finally admitted that the package had been in Atlanta from August 16 to August 24. It was then sent to Miami and was scheduled to leave on Monday the 28th. However, it did not go out that day, and was grounded again Tuesday because of Hurricane Ernesto. The head of the Post Office in Miami told Burt that he would have sent the package to Brussels that day via FedEx, but FedEx wasn't flying out of Miami either at that point due to the hurricane.

Kyle called United Airlines and explained the situation, asking for the tickets to be re-issued, so that we would have them in time for our flight. But the guy at United said that since Kyle actually knew were the tickets were (sitting in the Post Office in Miami) that he could not re-issue them. Yes, if Kyle had said that the tickets were lost, he could get them re-issued, but since they were sitting in an office that was quite possibly be destroyed by a hurricane at that exact same moment and Kyle knew that, then they could not be. We decided to give the Post Office a few days after the hurricane to get the tickets to us and if they still weren't here by this week, we would then say that we had "lost" them. Finally, they came in the mail today -- 20 days after Burt had mailed them in supposedly the most secure way the U.S. Postal Service knows how. All of this to say, avoid using the Post Office and United Airlines, and don't think that just because something is in English that it will make life easier.

Honest Em

If you scroll down, you might notice that I have updated the current book I am reading. I really debated about putting this book up because I think the title is a little overwhelming and makes me sound like something is wrong in my life. However, anyone who knows me really well knows that I love self-help books and had seriously thought about becoming a counselor. (For those who don't know me as well, but want to -- I decided not to become a counselor because I realized that I took too many people's problems home with me and poor Kyle had to become a counselor to me because I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.)

I have read two of books by this author (Dance of Anger and Dance of Intimacy). She really needs help on her titles because the content is so wonderful, but the titles even scare me a little bit. However, I came across Dance of Deception in a used bookstore and decided to give it a try. The basis of the book is how we all need to become more honest and open in our lives. There are so many secrets families carry for generations that affect every person in the family. As hard as it is to be open, I think the more each of us try to keep up an "image" for others, the more dishonest we are being to one another.

The other great thing about this book is that she is not just saying to blurt out everything you have ever kept secret. She walks through the different ways to share information and how to define how much is healthy to share. For instance, I was just thinking, "Well, if I am trying to be so honest maybe I should share something deeply personal in this blog." But this is not the appropriate space. However, if I am in a personal conversation with you, I will try to be open about what is going on in my life. I find it amazing that if I share something, so often the other person will say, "I feel that same way too, but I was too embarrassed to share it." How many of us are "leading lives of quiet desperation?"

One area where I think everyone should become more open is in finances. If you think about it, you might know how your own immediate family members spend their money, but you probably don't know how anyone else manages his or her finances. If you had a very private family, then you might not even know about them. Yet finances dictate so much of your life. Basically, the only other person whose finances I know very well are Kyle's. We both have shared our ideas on how to do things and, because our families are very similar, our ideas of spending and saving are very similar. However, what if we both had bad spending habits? Since we really only could only compare ourselves to each other, we might think that spending our whole income is normal, or that everyone lives in constant debt. I am a firm believer that most people think everyone else does/thinks exactly the same things as they do. I have mentioned to other people that we always pay off our credit cards every month, and so many of them are astonished. If I had never talked to another person about bills, they might think that everyone carries a balance on their credit cards -- and I might still think that everyone pays off their card at the end of every month. If we don't talk about how much we save, how much we spend, and what we think is reasonable among friends, then really we are all just flying blind and trying to keep up with the "norm" -- even though none of us would really know what the "norm" was.

The idea of honesty has also been on my mind recently with the doctoring of both Katie Couric's and Rosie O'Donnell's press photos for their upcoming shows. It makes me so mad that if this had not come out, someone seeing this would think that Rosie had quickly lost a lot of weight and that Katie is such a "normal, cute size" -- and that they should be like that too. My favorite person in this regard is Jamie Lee Curtis. She was brave enough to do two photo shoots for the magazine More. "For one photo, Curtis spent three hours prepping with a team of 13 people making sure she looked just right." For the other photo, she had no makeup, no hair stylist, no special lighting and especially no airbrushing. Click here for the article and photos and here for another great article about the topic. Here's to all women being more honest about their bodies and people being more honest about their lives.

Hug Your Mom Today!!!

I mentioned earlier that I have begun a babysitting job. The family arrived here last Monday afternoon, and from Monday to Friday I babysat for them for a total of 37 hours. The parents have been busy unpacking and getting adjusted, and with both kids and parents having jet lag, things have been a bit crazy. Having been with the kids for 37 hours, I feel like I have gotten a good taste of motherhood. Keep in mind that I babysat from the ages of 11-16 almost every weekend night, so I already had a good idea of the amount of work it takes to care for a child. But now I have a bit more perspective of the work it takes to care for a child, combined with having your own responsibilities of laundry, meals, a home, a marriage and all of life’s other pressures. A few things really struck me this week (disclaimer: the names of the family have been changed):

--These children (a little girl, Sally, who is almost 4 and a baby boy, Jimmy, who is 7 months old) are angels. They are some of the sweetest and easiest children I have ever taken care of. Sally can always come up with creative ways to play on her own while I take care of the baby. She never whines, cries or acts bratty. Once Jimmy is fed, he is happy to play and coo all day long. However, even caring for two incredibly easy children leaves me exhausted at the end of the day. Kids can be as sweet as possible, but they still need to be fed and changed and helped in the bathroom and have plenty of attention paid to them, all of which can wear you out.

--This experience also gave me a glimpse into the life of a wife with a husband who travels a lot. Kyle left for a conference on Wednesday and came back Saturday afternoon. At the end of the week I caught a cold from the baby and father. By Friday night I had a sore throat and all I wanted was for someone to take care of me. I at least had a break from the kids during the night (as opposed to real parents), but I can’t imagine if I had been taking care of the kids completely by myself all week.

--Thank goodness Kyle was gone, though, because when I got home it was all I could do to make myself a sandwich, talk to my mom or sister on the phone (so that I at least had some adult contact for the day) and then head to bed. I had not done one piece of laundry, cleaned one dish, cooked one meal or done any housework at our apartment all week. This made me think of all the maids and nannies out there (especially in the 1950s) who cared for an entire household all day and then had to go home and care for their own children and home at night.

--If you are a parent you must have cat-like reflexes and the patience of Job. For as sweet as Jimmy is, he really does not like to have his diaper changed. He fusses during the whole process, which is similar to hearing fingernails on a chalkboard. Although I have done a lot of babysitting, in hindsight I realize that it was mostly for little girls. Although I had known about boys common reactions to when their diapers are changed, it had momentarily slipped my mind. So one day I had just finished taking off Jimmy's dirty diaper. As I am standing over Jimmy and reaching for another wipe, his body reacted to the cold and he started peeing. The only problem was that he did not have a new diaper on yet. My hands and arms were flapping all over trying to stop the mess, but they were obviously not fast enough. He hit the curtain, the windowsill, the changing pad and his own shirt, as well as coming within inches of my head. Maybe I need to practice a few speed drills in my spare time.

--If you are ever told that you only have a day to live, spend it in a house with two kids, no radio and no TV and it will feel like the longest day of your life! There were many moments last week when I would entertain the kids with a game or activity that I was so proud I had come up with. They would play it for awhile and then move on to something new and I would think, "Well, that just killed a whopping 3 minutes. Only another 300 minutes to go!"

--And finally this experience reminded me that everyone should thank their mother today! When I think of my mom, I have memories of her attending my school plays or helping me with a school project. However, I forget how much work she must have done to potty train me, get me dressed every day, bathe me, feed me, and do so many other mundane things that required so much effort, especially in my younger years. At one point on Friday I looked down at my shirt sleeve and thought, “Hmm, I don’t remember feeding the kids anything brown, what could that be?” I took a whiff and came to the horrible realization that when I picked Jimmy up, poop came out of his diaper and onto my sleeve. I cleaned my sleeve, and then cleaned a very messy diaper. Just as I was finishing with Jimmy, Sally said she needed help going to the bathroom. Because they do not yet have the child potty seats that fit these toilets, I had to help hold her over the toilet while she did the equivalent of what Jimmy had just done in his diaper. In case you have never had to hold a child over the toilet, I’ll let you know that basically my face was directly over her butt the whole time. To really add to the experience, I then had to wipe her butt. The whole time I kept thinking, "Wow, and my mom didn't even get paid for all of this."

Thanks Mom!!!

The Real Belgium

I read recently that anyone applying for residency in the Netherlands is required to watch a new video. Apparently this video contains images of two lesbians kissing, a nude beach and people drinking alcohol and dancing. The purpose of the video is to tell potential residents: "If you move here, this is what you are going to encounter, so if you don't like it, don't become a citizen." Although the government won't admit it, one of the ideas behind the video is to slow down the number of Muslims who are moving there.

We have never had to watch a video like that in Belgium, but I think I might have just watched some good possible clips if they need any suggestions. Kyle had to work late tonight, so I was watching television to pass the time. In just one hour of flipping around, I came across:

--Hugh Heffner choosing the next Playgirls (you can imagine how they were dressed);
--an interview with the Prime Minister of Belgium, but instead of having a glass of water in front of him, he had a glass of red wine;
--and the real shocker was a live birth -- to a gay couple who had a surrogate carry their child. The two men and the birth mother were all naked in an inflatable pool while the entire birth was shown -- audio and all. Luckily there were only 'above waist' shots, but the woman still didn't have any clothes on up there either.

I turned the TV off before 10:30, but I am sure if I had kept it on I would have flipped through some pornography too.

So in case any of you were thinking of moving to Belgium or the Netherlands, now you have an idea of what the culture is like!

Basic Training, Brussels Style

After watching several people get adjusted to living in Brussels, as well as going through it myself, I have decided that Brussels is similar to the military. The Belgians break you down and build you back up until you do things their way, with no questions asked. It has been painful to watch the family I am babysitting for get adjusted to Brussels living. It is almost like watching a child go through adolescence, with all of the painful and awkward experiences that one just has to endure. My memories of our first month here are all a blur. In reality, I think your brain just fogs over such horrible memories so that they don’t haunt you. Since I didn’t have my blog when we first got here, I didn’t really record all of our first Belgian experiences. However, having watched this family try to adjust, I think sharing with you what has happened to them (which is similar to our experience, as well as many other people’s) will give you a good idea of what Brussels Boot Camp is like.

Note—the father is Dan, the mom is Lisa, the 4 year old girl is Sally and the 7 month old boy is Jimmy.

Monday
The family arrived at 1 p.m. with two jet-lagged kids. The parents had been awake for the whole 9-hour flight to take care of the kids. I arrived and babysat the kids while the parents took a long nap. Good thing they took the nap, because both children were up until 3 a.m. from the jet lag.

Tuesday
Dan headed to work, still very tired. Lisa had already tried to run the dishwasher once, but the detergent was never released during the cycle. We both looked over the directions and tried to run it again. After two hours, the load was done but the detergent had still not been released—although three inches of water had pooled up in the bottom of the machine. Lisa called the landlord and was told that no one can come to look at the dishwasher until next Wednesday between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. On that day, she will need to pay the workman around 150 euros in cash and the landlord will later reimburse her. In the meantime, we washed of the baby’s bottles (as well as everything else) by hand. The baby stayed awake until 2:30 a.m.

Wednesday
Both Dan and Jimmy had a cold from the new germs in Brussels. The U.S. car seats didn’t fit into the rental car they had, so we went to the rental car place to look for different straps to use on the car seats; the staff was blatantly rude to us. The key to the trash chute didn’t work, but they couldn’t put the trash on the street because they had not bought the proper Brussels trash bags, so they have bags of garbage sitting in their apartment until Friday. Jimmy stayed up until 2:30 a.m. again.

Thursday
Dan was so tired that he wore two different black shoes to work. Lisa tried to use her Belgian ATM card but it would not work. Because I had warned her about how bad Belgian ATMs are, she was not sure if the card was the problem or if it was just the machine, so she walked around for another 30 minutes looking for another machine. Dan had a conference call at 7 p.m. but wanted to see the family for dinner. They made plans to meet up at 5:30, but I told them that restaurants wouldn’t open until at least 7 p.m. They decided anyway to try to find a place and, after walking around for awhile, were (amazingly) able to find a place that was open. To get the kids to dinner, Lisa needed to take the double stroller, which is in the garage. However, once she got the kids strapped into the stroller, she realized that Dan had taken the gate opener with him to work. She could have gone out the other way, which would have required her to maneuver the double stroller through three sets of doors and up, then down, five steps, but she decided to wait at the gate until a car came through--running through the gate with the stroller before it closed again.

Friday
They figured out the problem with the ATM. It turned out that when they first requested their bank cards a months and a half ago, the cards had not arrived within two weeks of their ordering them. Dan called the bank to say that the cards hadn’t arrived, and the bank cancelled the cards and issued new ones. The next day, the original cards arrived. Dan called the bank again, but was told it was too late: The cards had already been cancelled. Fast forward one and a half months to the present day, when those original cards are still working, and the re-issued cards have still not arrived. Apparently, it wasn’t until a month and a half after Dan first called the bank—which happened to be this past Thursday—that the original cards were actually cancelled. Dan called the bank and was told that the second set of re-issued cards would arrive in five days. In the meantime, he was told to come by the bank before 1 p.m. and the banker would withdraw money for him. Dan took a wrong turn on the way, so he was a few minutes late. As he ran to the bank door, his personal banker locked the door in his face, pointed to her watch, and said, “I told you to be here by 1 p.m., because now we have our lunch break.” He had to watch 15 employees leave the bank so they could all take their lunch break from 1 to 2 p.m. while the bank was closed. In Dan’s rush to leave the office to get to the bank, he scratched the side of the rental car pulling out of his very narrow office driveway.

As a result, Lisa had no working ATM card or cash. She went to a store and filled a shopping cart with cleaning products and household supplies. She got all the way up to the cash register, only to be told once there that they did not take credit cards. So she had to put everything back and start all over again at another store that did take credit cards. She came home to show me what she had bought, only for me to tell her that she bought the two wrong types of detergent. In the afternoon she ran out to buy more storage chests with Dan. As she walked out the door, I had to remind her that she was still wearing her slippers.

As Kyle pointed out when I told him all of this, “And this is just their first week here.” I’ll keep you updated on if they survive the next month of boot camp.

The Emmy Awards

Wow, what an honor to be here tonight. I don't even know where to begin. I would like to thank my agent, my stylist, my publicist, the writer, directors, my husband the editor and most importantly my fans, for helping me to reach the 10,000 hits mark on my blog. Thank you, thank you so much.

You don't look a day over 16

I recently celebrated my birthday and had a great day. I got lots of cards and calls and Kyle was even sweet enough to think to get me a cake. Nothing like a Triple Belgian Chocolate cake to celebrate! We went to a nice dinner and the weather even cooperated enough that we were able to sit outside.

The big news surrounding my birthday is that we got a car!!! Anyone who has visited or knows our day to day lives here without a car can appreciate even more how much this means. We have been looking for a month now, and this past Saturday we found a great deal. Below is picture of it-- a Citroen C3. The experience of looking for a car in Belgium was quite different than in the States though. Just a few observations:
--In first dealership we went to, we were ignored for 30 minutes, watched one salesman take his lunch break while we were waiting, and then were told that he was the only guy there that spoke English.
--In another dealership, the guy kept downselling us on things. He told us that you really didn't need the full package and that the smaller car was just a good. He even told us to wait until September for the prices to get better!
--In that same dealership they told Kyle they would fax him some information about pricing and he has yet to see it.
--In the dealership where we bought the car, the guy said that (even though they only have one salesman there on Saturdays) they still sell 6-7 cars that day. I think we figured out how they are not too short staffed -- they don't help you at all! We looked around by ourselves for 20 minutes and then finally went up to him to ask him some questions. He remained seated until we finally asked him to come see the car we were referring to. He then basically read out the details about the car that were on the front windshield. We said we would think about it over the weekend. When we came back on Monday to say we would buy it, then he gave us a glossy brochure about the car. Also, he did not want to let us test drive the car. It was not because the car was a lemon, but because there have to be license plates on the car, even if it is just for a test drive. I have two friends that have both bought cars here without test driving them. He hemmed and hawed for 30 minutes and then finally let us drive the car.
--Even though we bought the car directly off the lot (it was previously driven by the dealer for three months, so we got it for a reduced price) we still can't drive away with it for two weeks. By Belgian law, first the car must be inspected, then we must prove we have insurance, then we must pick up a form from the dealership and take it to the town hall to get our license plate. The town hall gives you one license plate and then you have to go to an engraver place and buy a second (identical) one to put on the front of the car. When we finally have both plates, we can go to the dealership and get the car. The amazing part is that Kyle and I have been so warped by Brussels that we were really excited to be able to pick up the car in only two weeks. Often, when you buy a new car from the lot here, they have to order it and it can take up to three months to get it.

It has been an exciting week here, because beyond getting a car and having a birthday, I also have a new babysitting job. The family has just moved here from the States. They have a sweet 7 month old boy and 4 year old girl. It is amazing how good it feels to get paid for doing something again! The other night Kyle and I were discussing the car and finances and I said, "Well, my babysitting money will help to pay for some of the car." We both paused and looked at each other and then realized that although I am 27 years old, I am still talking about earning babysitting money and getting a new car on my birthday!

As if I wasn't outed enough already

Tonight Kyle and I decided to try our luck again at spinning. I had even bought a plain exercise shirt to try to help blend in more. (All of my other t-shirts had English writing on them.) Although we had the same teacher (who probably recognized the American idiots in the back) Kyle was smart enough to not raise his hand this time. We were in the third row and really plugging along just fine -- until there were 5 minutes left in class. Kyle was really pedaling fast and hard and his foot slipped out of the pedal. His shin happened to intersect with the free pedal as it made its way around and he got a four-inch gash on his right shin. Blood was immediately flowing and there was even a small piece of skin flopping around. It was horrible.

The teacher asked what was wrong as Kyle got off his bike, but he just waved her off as he hobbled out the door. I got off my bike and tried to quickly sanitize our bikes before I left. (Suprisingly for Europeans, they are really into spraying/wiping down your area once you are done.) Well I wasn't quick enough because apparently the instructor was asking me to come to the front of the room. Of course I don't understand a word she says and so I didn't even realize what she was asking. It wasn't until she said, "Yoo-hoo" over the microphone that I looked up. And there she was motioning me to the front of the room -- my worst nightmare. So I had to make my way through two rows of sweaty bikers and stand at the front with her to explain what had happened. I felt like I was back in Catholic school in front of the nuns all over again. I explained in English what had happened to Kyle and her first response was, "But you do understand some French?" I don't know what that had to do with anything, but I lied and said that I understood some. I didn't want to tell the truth and say, "Actually, I might as well be deaf because I just spent the last hour in your class watching your hand movements to understand whether we were supposed to be going up a hill or down." I guess I satisfied her enough by saying I understood a little French because she asked more about Kyle and then dismissed me. Poor Kyle hobbled the four blocks home, and then up another four flights of stairs. Needless to say, we won't be doing another spinning class anytime soon...

Flower Carpet

This weekend Kyle and I went to the Flower Carpet in the Grand Place. Because the carpet uses so many begonias, there is only enough of a supply of them to do this every two years. They actually pull the petals off all the begonias and then lay the petals down to make the carpet. Today I went back down there with Kelly and her kids and Julie Anne, her husband Pieter and their kids. Click here to see the pictures from both trips.

Happy Birthday to My Mom!!!

I have learned many, many things while in Belgium, but I think one of the things that has hit me the most is realizing the love of a mother. Since almost every one of my friends here has kids, I have gotten to see this first hand many times over. I am constantly amazed at the sacrifices mothers make for their children -- the number of times they endure yet another sleepless night, sacrifice their own lunch for their picky-eater child, wipe a bottom, lug a child's coat and backpack, wipe a runny nose, are a shoulder to cry on, and are the comforting arms that all children run to.

I am sure I will not truly understand the love of a mother until I am one myself, but even though I don't say it often, I think of my own mom every single day that I see one of my friends make these sacrifices and I say a silent 'Thank You' for all that she has done.

I've been outed

Well I am officially out of the closet and I am not happy about it. It is all Kyle's fault. On Friday we decided to attempt our first spinning class together. I had already taken one spinning class and had to leave after 40 minutes because I thought I might never be able to walk again. But I was willing to give it another try. I have taken aerobics classes in French and although I have no clue what is going on 70% of the time, at least I can watch the teacher's movements and follow along. The problem with spinning is that a big part of it is just turning up and down the resistance knob. The flick of a wrist at the front of the class is a little bit harder to follow. Luckily the first time I was there, the instructor tilted her arm as she was talking so I at least knew if we were supposed to be going up or down a hill.

Kyle and I were the last two people in the room on Friday and all of the bikes were taken except for two in the very front, right next to the teacher. Between the last two bikes was a flamboyant gay guy that is in almost every single class I take. So the teacher comes in and asks if this is anyone's first time in the class. I thought I knew my husband well, but I obviously don't. Of course you don't raise your hand when they ask if anyone is new because then you are singled out the rest of the time. If anything, you try to look like you own the place and that you will never need any help whatsoever. At least that is my theory.

Well Kyle's hand shoots up and I could have just about killed him. There were a few other people who raised their hands so the teacher started explaining how to set up the seat etc. Just as we got started peddaling, she turns to Kyle and says something. (She is speaking into a microphone, so everyone can hear it.) Kyle just kind of mumbles "Oui" and then she says something else to him. Finally she says in English, "You don't speak French do you?" Well a few people in the class started giggling and I wanted to melt into the floor. Here I had gone for 6 months of working out and faking it, or at least being silent enough that no one knew I only spoke English and Kyle had just ruined it for me. I was sure the gay guy would tell his friends in all our other classes that I am a poseur. I might just have to never show my face at the gym again :)

Party Foul x 2

Kyle and I had two other couples over this past Saturday night. While Kyle was opening the door for the second couple, I was getting champagne glasses out for the first couple. Within 60 seconds, I knocked one of the glasses against the door frame (because, of course, I was talking with my hands) and one of the beers the other couple had brought exploded in Kyle's hands. There was glass around each of us and Kyle was soaked in beer. The worst part was that the bottle cut his thumb open pretty badly. Not quite the way to start a party, but luckily these were all good friends. It was really bad the next morning though because we kept finding glass shards all over the kitchen and since they were covered in beer, they couldn't just be swept up easily because they were so sticky. Ugh.

After the glass episode, we ordered take out Chinese, and the guys watched the Rose Bowl (recorded in January) in order to pacify their football craving until they can watch live football games in just a few weeks time. It was funny to hear the boys talk about football, recruiting, and scores for three hours. During that same time, the two other wives and I discussed whether to work part time or stay at home once you have kids, the housing prices in the States, financial habits of couples, our own unique family interactions and so many other wild topics. Kyle teasingly asked me why girls can't just talk about no-brainer stuff like football. I agree with him that it is a good question, but unfortunately I don't know the answer. As much as I enjoyed our female conversation, it would be nice to sometimes just talk things of no consequence.

Sunday our friends Kate and Ryan had us over for a BBQ on their sunny terrace. Kate is an incredible cook and we left their place completely stuffed. She made a dry rub to cover the short ribs and then baked them for three hours. Once we arrived she put them on the grill with her own homemade BBQ sauce. The meat just fell off the bone and melted in your mouth. She was worried about making potato salad for us Southerners (she is from Connecticut) so she opted for French potato salad instead (made with Dijon mustard). It was as good as any I have ever had! We had watermelon and brownies for dessert and I was in hog heaven all day!

So bad it's good

Although we have Slingbox which is great, our Belgian TV doesn't have too many English channels. (There are 4 to be exact and two of them are news channels.) So I rent U.S. TV series on DVDs at the Women's Club. In the year and a half we have been here, I have watched the first season of 24, Lost, Law & Order, Desperate Housewives, Gray's Anatomy, and Monk. Since I have basically seen most of the shows the Club has, I have had to resort to scraping the barrel and watching The O.C. The script and acting are so horrible that I can usually only watch about 20 minutes at a time because it just pains me. And yet I can't stop. Every Wednesday I go back and rent the next disc and subject myself to even more ridiculous teen angst. To save youself from wasting time, I'll just tell you what every episode entails:
--About 8 times an episode someone will ask Ryan a question and he just stares at them out of the corners of his eyes.
--The neighborhood always has a big party and Ryan gets in a fight with someone, which ruins the party.
--Ryan and Marissa get in a fight over nothing and then always make up in the end.

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Today at the Club I picked up a magazine from our swap area. Although the cover had been ripped off, I could tell it was a People which always makes me happy. What a find! Then I started reading. "Beardless for the first time in 15 months. Tom Cruise comes clean after finishing filming for The Last Samurai."

I think to myself, "Hmm, I thought that movie was already out. And I haven't really noticed him having a beard. Oh well, I guess I am just out of it."

Next I read about Trista and Ryan from The Bachelor having a wedding shower. I think, "Wait, aren't they already married? Are they renewing their vows?" It is then that I look at the date. Yes, I was reading a magazine from September 22, 2003. News that is almost three years old!
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We are just kind of, barely, maybe thinking about buying a car over here. In our search, we came across a Corolla for sale at a good price. The funniest thing is that our main concern with that car is that it would be too big for us. As crazy as that might sound, you have to do a lot of parallel parking and going down narrow streets here, and a "big" car would really restrict you. The most common size cars are little two doors. I find it commical that in the States I drove a Camry because I thought a Corolla was too small, and now it seems too big. Imagine a Tahoe around here.

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I swore to myself that if the heat ever let up here, I would never complain about the cold again. I have been put to the test because for the last week, the weather has been overcast and 60. However, with my memories of the 95 degree heat being so fresh, I am actually really enjoying wearing pants and long sleeves each day.

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Pick up a copy of tomorrow (Friday's) U.S. Wall Street Journal to read Kyle's article about the Mises Institute in Auburn, AL. This one even has his name on it!

Hola from Barcelona

It has taken me awhile to get these together, but here are our pictures from the two days we spent in Barcelona with Amy and Trey. The main things we saw were lots of Gaudi buildings and the Sagrada Familia. Click on the links if you want to learn a little bit more about them.

Posted by a proud wife

I am always impressed by and proud of Kyle, but I also know I am a little biased. The last time we were in the States, he traveled to Auburn, Alabama, to write a story about the Mises Institute. Today, that article was published in The Wall Street Journal Europe. Of course I am proud of the article, but I am even more proud of the comments it elicited. Click here to read the article and see below for the comments.

Comments:
Who's better than Mr. Wingfield?
Making his biases known early and balancing them with sound fact, he makes his recommendation (argument) all the more accessable and, thereby, believable.
Cheers for him, and the topic he well illuminates.
Posted by: M E Hoffer at August 4, 2006 8:34 AM

He is a really nice fellow. Having dealt with reporters for years, the overwhelming characteristic they have in common is incredible ignorance, and that is combined with an amazing arrogance. Most of these people are just fakes. They understand very little about the topics they supposedly cover, and they secretly know this. Their biggest fear is being found out.
But it was really obvious to me when he first called that Mr. Wingfield was different. He is knowledgeable and honest. These are very rare traits in journalism, especially among journalists at his level. So it was a pleasure to visit with him and show him around.
Posted by: jeffrey at August 4, 2006 8:45 AM

How rare for a journalist to use "sensible economic thinking" as anything other than a slight in contrast to what they see of the Austrian school, much less as a description.
A rare gentleman indeed. Maybe there is hope for the world.
Posted by: Curt Howland at August 4, 2006 1:06 PM

Cool Sites

I have come across some interesting websites recently and wanted to share:

The first one is www.pandora.com It is a free site where you pick out the type of music you like and then they try to find other music that has those same qualities. You can note whether you like the new choices or not and they adjust the songs accordingly.

Thanks to Aunt Beth, I found the Birthday Calculator. You put in your birth date and it gives you lots of interesting facts (one of which is when you were conceived -- ugh) htttp://www.paulsadowski.org/BirthDay.asp

This woman takes pictures and shares the recipes of what she makes for her child everyday, but she is a taking a break for the summer, so you will just have to read past entries for awhile. I can't believe how creative she is! http://www.veganlunchbox.blogspot.com/

Gouda you doin' ?

Ok, that might be the cheeziest title yet, but since this is blog all about cheese, I figured it would work. Today Kate, Christina and I took a road trip to Gouda, Holland. Up there, they pronounce the city how-da. Click here to check out my pictures and learn a little bit more about the city.

Just call me On

Yesterday evening I realized I needed to make a dinner reservation for tonight. I was really tired, so I handed the phone to Kyle and asked him to make it. He asked me why I didn't want to do it, but then proceeded to make the call. This is what I heard Kyle say (the spaces are him saying things slowly):

Bonjour, parlez vous anglais? Oh, thank you. I would like to make a reservation for tomorrow night. Yes, to-mor-row. Four people. Yes, f o u r. At eight o'clock, e i g h t o' c l o c k. My name is Kyle. K y l e. No, Ky-le. K Y L E. Yes, Kyle.

And he wondered why I didn't want to have to make the call. I have a feeling the reservation will probably look like it is for Kilyie. Thank goodness they didn't want his last name too! Because only 11 out of 26 letters sound the same in both French and English it is always hard to spell something. A few of the letters that happen to be in our names cause some real confusion-- e sounds like a, i sounds like e, g sounds like j, and y we just have no chance with. I think I might legally change my name to On All because at least both the English and French spell that the same way.

Random Thoughts

I often say, "Oh, I should blog about that." But in reality, I probably don't have enough thoughts or opinions for every topic to have a whole intro, body and conclusion (not that mine always have all that), so I'm just going to write the bases of some of my thoughts recently:

--I hate it when you have to take off your shoes at a person's house. Trust me, I have gross feet. In the wintertime, they probably smell a little (after being cooped up in my shoes all day). In the summertime the undersides are really ugly and rough. I understand that there is so much dog poop in Brussels that there might be a chance you have some on your shoes, but at least give me the option that if I don't have any on my shoes then I can keep them on. The only place I felt ok taking my shoes off was at the house of a friend who had lived in Singapore previously. She had a basket of clean slippers that you could wear instead.

--It is really confusing when you greet an American here because back in the U.S. I would just hug them, but here people kiss on the cheek. So are we supposed to hug or kiss? It is awkward every single time I greet someone.

--Although I have gotten more used to it this summer, it is still hard to get it through my mind that everyone is "on holiday" for most of July and all of August. I am serious when I say everyone. Restaurants just shut down for a whole month. Kyle's suit and jacket were locked behind closed doors for a few weeks because the dry cleaners closed and I hadn't picked them up before they left. There is a big sink hole (about the size of a sewer lid) on the street adjacent to ours. They have had to shut down the street because it is right in the middle of the road and very dangerous. Obviously not too dangerous though, because the police just put up a road block and told my friend that it won't be fixed until September, when all of the public workers return from their holiday.

--I used to kind of look down on people who weren't good with directions. It just seemed that if I knew where we were and which way to go to get somewhere then everyone should be able to understand it. Well, I am now changing my tune. I have some friends here who are just much better at French than I am (they also try a lot harder too). Although they don't exactly say it, I always get the feeling that they look down on me for butchering my way through a meal, etc. a year and a half after being here. I am now much clearer on how some things just come more naturally to some than others.

--Technology is incredible. My sister is in China for ten day and she had forgotten to cancel an appointment in the States this week. She wrote me an e-mail from China, asking me to call Atlanta over the internet to cancel an appointment from Belgium. Between my sister in China and my parent being at the beach, I miss talking to my family!

Emily d'wingfieldo

So the delivery guys finally came today. It was hot outside and the overweight guy was really breathing hard after he had brought the washer up the stairs. He mumbled something between breaths, and since I had no clue what he said, I just assumed that he said something about the heat or being tired etc. Just to be nice and go along with him I said, "Oui, oui" to which he turned to me and in perfect English said, "You speak Italian?" Wow, I am so fluent in French that I can't even tell when someone is speaking Italian or French!

Over the Barrel

Nowhere is the phrase "They've got you over a barrel" more appropriate than when you live in a foreign country and barely speak the language. A man who has just moved here and is busy working was willing to pay me to just sit at his house and wait for his washer and dryer to be delivered. He had already waited there all day Tuesday (when it was supposed to be delivered) and they never came. So he asked me to wait there on Wednesday. At 9:30am I called one number to even attempt to figure out a time range when I might be able to expect them, but they just gave me another number to call. I called the next number four times before I got an answer and then all I could understand the guy to say was "afternoon." Now afternoon can be interpreted pretty broadly, so I still felt like I needed to be at the house from noon onwards. I got there at 11:30 and waited and waited and waited. By 4:30 I got this man's secretary to call and try to understand what the delivery guy was saying. It turns out he had been telling me that I was number 14 out of 18 on his delivery list and he was only at number 10, so it would be another 2-2 1/2 hours before he would get there. I had dinner reservations at 7:30, but I figured that I would wait as long as I could and hopefully he would make it there. I called at 7:15 and he told me it would be another hour, so I had to tell him not to come and now I am going to have to go through this whole fiasco again on Friday.

Kyle was telling me the many ways he would yell at the customer service department if it where in English, but then he said that since it is in French (and customer service is non-existent here) I am just going to have to bring another good book and wait again Friday. Ugh.