"Sunbathing"

The guest bedroom in the back of our apartment gets the most sun out of the entire appartment. For this reason, I often find myself carrying all of my plants back there on any sunny day just so they can get a little vitamin D. But plants aren't the only ones that need some vitamin D! When I crawl onto the bed and lie right in the only patch of sun in the whole appartment, I can't helping laughing at myself and feeling like a cat.

Perspective

I have been blessed to know a wide variety of people here in Brussels. The women at the AWCB are wonderful, but they are very similar to the people I know in the States -- their husbands make good money, and they have very comfortable lives and an ample amount of disposable income. When you hang around with them it is easy to feel bad that you can't buy everything you want. They don't always understand how we went without a car for a year and a half becuase we didn't have enough money for one. The lifestyle over here lends itself to a lot of traveling, so it can be easy to become blase about taking yet another trip.

However, I also have two other groups of friends and acquaintances. The first is my French class. The majority of these people are immigrants to Belgium and even though they might have had some schooling in their home country, most are either unemployed or doing menial labor here. In a drastic contrast from the Women's Club, I am one of the few people in the class who has a car.

The second group is our friends from church, many of whom are missionaries and live off the support of others. Obviously, making a living off others' donations doesn't leave much room for big vacations, even though their work is so worthwhile.

I say all of this because I have really been embarrassed telling some people we are going on a two-week cruise. Yet at the same time, when I do tell certain people it helps to remind me of just how lucky I am and what an amazing experience the cruise will be. Knowing this many different types of people has been a good reminder to me of the different economic classes in the world. Think you are poor? Maybe compare yourself to someone else and then you may feel embarrassingly rich instead. I am not saying that I put down others to make myself feel better. I just think looking all around the world rather than just straight up helps to give perspective on the big picture.

Cruisin'

While in Alabama, I worked with a woman who always said (in a very southern accent), "I work to cruise. I love cruisin'. " I don't think we are quite to her level yet, but we did thoroughly enjoy the cruise we took last summer through the Baltic Sea. We were able to see seven very different cities, but still sleep in the same bed every night and never have to re-pack our suitcase. Because of this, we decided to book a cruise for our big vacation this year. However, the only times the cruise was offered was April and October. Thus I find myself still wearing a winter coat and gloves here in Brussels, but getting all of my summer clothes out of storage.

We have really enjoyed the opportunity to travel here, but sometimes it is starting to feel like, "Oh look, another church in another old town." I used to take pictures of everything and now I find myself not as interested in capturing every canal and cobblestone street. I was feeling mad at myself that I was becoming so callous about traveling here until I counted up how many châteaux I have been to. In my three years here, I have seen 22 châteaux! That equals a little less than one per month for the last three years. Because of all this, I am very excited for our cruise because we will be stopping in Athens, Olympia, Corfu, Cairo, Crete, Santorini, Mykonos, Izmir and Istanbul. I have a feeling that I will fill my memory card with all the pictures of different architecture and life there. I have no idea what to expect, which I am happy about because I haven't set any expectations. Au revoir!

A recent conversation over the coffee machine at the Women's Club:

Nikki: Yep, we just found out we are moving in July back to the States. We have only been here two and a half years.
Emily: Well, we will definitely miss you!...Hey Sue!
Sue: Hey, did you hear we are moving? We will pack up in August, but I will be back in the States before then to arrange housing and all the details. By the way, I want you to meet Laurie.
Emily: Hi Laurie, how long do you think you will be here?
Laurie: Well, they told us it is just for a year, but we hope to be able to stay for longer.

Within the span of one minute, three people were all preparing for or adjusting to very big changes in their lives. Three years ago when I was crying as my first friend moved away from Brussels I never thought that one day I could be so blasé about friends coming and going.

Saving the Best for Last

In the past few months we have seen two good sets of friends move away. The Kittrells (a family of 5) moved on their own and we helped them move boxes on the day the truck came. Soon after, our friends Maggie and Todd moved. Seeing Maggie giving stuff away in the last month and seeing how much stuff the Kittrells had (just life stuff, not that they live in excess) has really hit a nerve with me and I have been in clean out mode ever since. I am not doing anything major, but just every time I look in a drawer and realize that I haven't used something in over a year, I add it to the pile. The Women's Club is having a consignment sale and I hope to make a little money off the pile soon enough.

Being in throw away mode, combined with living in an apartment has also had an effect on my purchasing. Recently I saw something I really liked at a store, but because limited space in our apartment and "the pile" were in the back of my mind, I decided not to buy it. Living in a small (but perfectly adequate) space makes you stop and think about your purchases and how necessary they really are. I think if people lived in smaller places, rather than huge houses, the perception that America is a "consumer capital" might change. And really, did you even know you needed that knick-knack before you happened to see it in the store?

Along with seeing Maggie give things away, she also gave away a lot of cooking supplies (which I was happy to take off her hands). So many things she had been saving for that special moment, and then soon enough she was already packing for the States and didn't have time to use them. I fully understood her situation because I have done the same thing too. In the first year we were here I brought back things I missed from home, such as microwaveable Mac & Cheese, Jiffy cornbread mix, diced green chilis, pudding mix, Double Stuff Oreos and a few other things. I waited so long to use them, saving them for the day when I was really craving them, that by the time I went to use them they had expired and I had to throw them away! Funny enough, after being here three years I really don't bring much back anymore. I think saving the food can be related to many things in life (using your china, wearing your nice dress, putting on that special perfume) that we only save for special moments, when really we should view every day spent with loved ones as a special moment. So Maggie has inspired me and I have been using all those things that used to only be reserved for special days.

If I Had My Life To Live Over Again by Erma Bombeck.
Someone asked me the other day, if I had my life to live over again would I change anything.
My answer was no, but then I thought about it and changed my mind.
If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about
the shadow over my feet, I'd have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have invited friends over to dinner if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten popcorn in the "good" living room and worried less about the dirt when the fireplace was lit.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have burnt the pink candle sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored.
I would have sat cross-legged on the lawn with my children and never worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television....and more while watching real life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband which I took for granted.
I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for a day.
I would never have bought ANYTHING because it was practical/wouldn't show soil/guaranteed to last a lifetime.
When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said "Later, now, go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more I love yous......more I'm sorrys......more I'm listenings....
but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it.... look at it and really see it......try it on..... live it ....exhaust it....and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it.

Recently we returned home from a trip on a Sunday evening. Just as I was thinking, "Oh, I am so glad to be home with all my stuff in one place. I can't wait to just be at home all day tomorrow." I looked out the window and saw the man who lives behind us getting onto his son about not moving fast enough as the child was carrying his suitcase out to the car. From what I have seen, the parents seem to have some type of joint custody agreement, but I can't figure out the exact pattern of when the child visits. To add to all of this, the father is a doctor who doesn't seem to be home very often so many times the child ends up having to visit with his step mom the whole time rather than his real dad. The whole situation makes me so sad. Why should the child have to disrupt his life every few days just so the parents can feel better? I have heard of one divorce situation where the parents bought a house that the children live in permanently and the parents take turns moving in and out each week so that the children have stability. Of course the knee jerk reaction is, "How inconvient for the adults to have to pack up each week!" But why is it more convient for the child, who needs stability, to have to pack up each week and get used to different patterns and systems every few days? To me, this sounds like the best situation I have heard of yet.

Blow Out

Forget handmade baby blankets or anything from Babies R Us, the gifts I am now going to give to new mothers, especially ones with a colicky baby, are a hairdryer and earplugs. A friend from church had a baby three weeks ago. In that time, her husband has had to fly back to the States twice, once to visit his sick father and then again to attend his father's funeral. (They had thought his father was in recovery which is why the husband returned to Belgium). So this poor woman is recovering from a C-section, has a colicky baby AND an energetic three year old and has been stuck in the apartment for three weeks. Her sister has come to help some, but there were still a few days where she was alone, so I went over there to help her yesterday. I was only with them for seven hours, but today my left ear has that hollow feeling as if I had been at a loud concert all night. Amazingly having the hair dryer running seemed to help the baby a bit, so I found myself holding him in one arm with the hairdryer in the other for much of the afternoon.

I was happy to help this woman, but don't think I would have thought to have gone if I hadn't seen my mom help so many people while I was growing up. My aunt and uncle have two sets of twins and I remember going over there with my mom to spend the night when the second set was just born, so that we could do the night time feedings and my aunt and uncle could get a full night's sleep. My mom was always great about bringing meals to people, and thinking about every last detail for them. Every meal always included fresh cut fruit and anything else a tired or sick person wouldn't have the time or energy to do for themselves. As much as I used to hate hearing my mom say the same things over and over again, I think the repetition was good because now those things have finally stuck in my head.

So for those of you that didn't grow up with my mom, here are some suggestions for helping people:
--always call before coming over
--always bring food for them, and make sure it is in a container they don't need to return to you
--make sure to ask if they have any likes/dislikes or food allergies (avoid using onions or garlic for nursing mothers)
--make extra food so they have leftovers
--do any dishes/housework/laundry that you see needs to be done
--pay extra attention to the new big brother or sister rather than the baby
--even if the mom tries to argue (because she feels guilty about it) strongly encourage her to go to sleep and just stay and hold the baby for awhile