Blow Out

Forget handmade baby blankets or anything from Babies R Us, the gifts I am now going to give to new mothers, especially ones with a colicky baby, are a hairdryer and earplugs. A friend from church had a baby three weeks ago. In that time, her husband has had to fly back to the States twice, once to visit his sick father and then again to attend his father's funeral. (They had thought his father was in recovery which is why the husband returned to Belgium). So this poor woman is recovering from a C-section, has a colicky baby AND an energetic three year old and has been stuck in the apartment for three weeks. Her sister has come to help some, but there were still a few days where she was alone, so I went over there to help her yesterday. I was only with them for seven hours, but today my left ear has that hollow feeling as if I had been at a loud concert all night. Amazingly having the hair dryer running seemed to help the baby a bit, so I found myself holding him in one arm with the hairdryer in the other for much of the afternoon.

I was happy to help this woman, but don't think I would have thought to have gone if I hadn't seen my mom help so many people while I was growing up. My aunt and uncle have two sets of twins and I remember going over there with my mom to spend the night when the second set was just born, so that we could do the night time feedings and my aunt and uncle could get a full night's sleep. My mom was always great about bringing meals to people, and thinking about every last detail for them. Every meal always included fresh cut fruit and anything else a tired or sick person wouldn't have the time or energy to do for themselves. As much as I used to hate hearing my mom say the same things over and over again, I think the repetition was good because now those things have finally stuck in my head.

So for those of you that didn't grow up with my mom, here are some suggestions for helping people:
--always call before coming over
--always bring food for them, and make sure it is in a container they don't need to return to you
--make sure to ask if they have any likes/dislikes or food allergies (avoid using onions or garlic for nursing mothers)
--make extra food so they have leftovers
--do any dishes/housework/laundry that you see needs to be done
--pay extra attention to the new big brother or sister rather than the baby
--even if the mom tries to argue (because she feels guilty about it) strongly encourage her to go to sleep and just stay and hold the baby for awhile