Trends

It was Jams and Jellies in grade school; a Gap outfit and a Jessica McClintock dress in high school; New Balance shoes and a Kate Spade purse in college. But now that I am in Brussels, there are two new things that every American woman over here feels the need to have -- a Longchamp purse and Polish Pottery. I got my purse for our anniversary and today I finally got some polish pottery. Of course, I had never heard of either of these things before I got here, but now I definitely know how to spot both.

Amy and I with our Longchamps

You can't got to a party (at least of someone who is a member of the AWCB) and not see some polish pottery there. I will admit that before I even knew it was a cool thing to have, I liked it the first time I saw it. It is cute, casual and can be mixed and matched with everything. I have never made as many appetizers and desserts nor attended as many social functions as I have in the last two years (well, I was pretty social in college, but I sure wasn't having to bring veggie dip and an apple crumble to the keg parties). All this to say, I know this pottery will be put to good use.

So today we loaded up 20 women in a bus and drove 3 hours up to the Netherlands to buy some polish pottery. Yes, I know we weren't in Poland, but that would have been a 10 hour drive, so we went to this outlet instead. On the way up there a woman in the bus demonstrated a variety of ways to tie scarves. Scarves really are popular over here, but I couldn't help but laugh at myself that I was sitting on a bus practicing tying scarves. The one that makes me laugh the most it the bow scarf that makes you look like a newscaster from 1989. Nothing says sexy and young like a 27 year old in a bow scarf with some apple crumble!

I am trying out a new photo comany (thanks to aunt Carol) so I hope it turns out ok. Turn on your seakers and click here to view.

If you have a free minute, check out the technology, hair, and especially the purple bow scarf in this video-- it cracks me up!

Green, Green Grass

It is not that I think the grass is always greener on the other side, it is just that I sometimes forget to stop and realize just how green my grass is over here in Belgium. I have been homesick these past few weeks. Not homesick enough to want to move back just yet, only homesick enough to want to fly home for three days, see my friends and family, eat Mexican food and Chick-fil-A, and then return to Belgium. A friend of mine wrote me after I had mentioned my homesickness and reminded me to enjoy my time over here, because soon enough it will end. When it does end, I will have to face the sad reality that many, many expats have told me about: Once you are an expat you are not at home in any country. Your expat country will never be home to you, but you have been away from your home country long enough to recognize its bad side, too. Obviously there are good and bad things about both places, but in case you want to know what I think about each place, here you go:

Pros of Brussels:
--an open-air market is taking place in some part of Brussels every day
--there are fresh flowers everywhere
--there are few chains, so every store has unique things
--Europeans are into their environment, so everyone takes recycling seriously
--although there are not as many choices, it sure does make a decision easier!
--fresh bread is available at every corner
--meals take two hours so that you can enjoy and savor the experience (only a "pro" if you are in the mood and have the time for a long meal, Kyle notes)
--everyone has a slower pace of life
--there is not as much of a sense of "keeping up with the Joneses"
--smaller cars are much easier to get around in
--I am constantly surrounded by so many other cultures and types of food
--no one really knows what the norm is, so everything is pretty much acceptable
--when the weather is nice, everyone is outside
--although it is annoying for all places to be closed on Sundays, it is also nice and you eventually get used to it

Cons of Brussels
--there is always dog poop -- and usually some litter -- on the street
--people can be rude
--horrible weather
--people drive like maniacs

Pros of America
--everyone is so friendly
--great food (that I am used to)
--efficiency
--anything and everything that you could ever want is available anytime/anyplace
--even though the country is divided in politics, we all still live together (fairly) peacefully

Cons of America
--consumerism
--too much pressure to keep up with the Joneses
--obesity

So I got to thinking of this topic for a few reasons. First (as I mentioned before), I was incredibly busy last week. Although I always knew how lucky I was not to be working over here, I sometimes forgot just how lucky I was to have all day free to do what I wanted. It is amazing how it only takes being busy for a few days to help remind me that I should appreciate my free time when I get it back again (which will be in just a few weeks when life slows down). This reminds me of what my sister told me when I was fresh out of college and looking for a job, "Don't worry about figuring out what you want or like in a company before you start. Begin working there and within the first week you will figure out exactly what you don't like and you can start narrowing things down from there in your next job."

I have also been thinking about this idea of appreciation in relation to our car. Tonight I told Kyle that I think I was actually scarred from riding public transportation for almost two years straight -- I can't get enough of the car! I feel just like I am 16 years old again and finally have the freedom that comes with wheels. I look out our apartment window at the car at least two to three times a day just to check on it. While we were on vacation I told Kyle that I actually missed the car and wanted to hug it. Today Kyle took the car to work and I rode the bus to do my errands. As I was standing outside in the drizzly rain waiting for the bus, I was loving the thought of the car even more than usual. However, as important as I think it is to always be appreciative of things, I think I have gone overboard with the car. I can't change the radio station without thinking, "I love this, I love this, I love this." Now I need to get my mind off the car and focus on the road!

Wonder Women

August, September and January are always my busiest months and this September is no exception. I have basically been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all week, which is why I haven't blogged. In fact, today is the first time since Monday I have even cooked anything at home, and I just unpacked my suitcase that seemed to have exploded all over the floor of our living room.

Although I have been busy, I can't complain because the people I am surrounded by are just as busy as me and always amaze me with the things they do. To highlight a few amazing and inspiring women:

Lisa and Esmee-- These two ladies are in charge of the "Hints for Living in Brussels" class that the AWCB puts on. The class consists of six days of classes totaling 18 hours of information taught by the 25 different speakers they bring in to cover all of the topics. There are 63 women in the class, so that means organizing the nametags, informational binders and snacks for all of them, not to mention all of the questions and hand-holding that 63 women all new to Brussels might need. I don't know how Lisa and Esmee do it because they are really involved in other volunteer positions too.

JoEllen -- My friend JoEllen is in the process of her 18th move, of which this is the fifth international one. As is often the case with big moves, her husband is conveniently on a business trip (in Asia) while she is packing, cleaning, selling cars, closing bank accounts, dealing with utilites and all of the other little hassles that moving requires. I can't imagine packing up my life for the 18th time, and even though she didn't want to make this move, she has handled it with grace and a good spirit.

Pam -- My friend Pam is in charge of the Holiday Bazaar (through the AWCB) which is a weekend event in November where over 100 vendors from all over Europe come to sell their goods. The logistics are mind-boggling, from advertising to parking to food and setup/breakdown. Not only is Pam also the president of her children's schools PTA, but she is always really calm and friendly every time you see her!

Maria -- Maria has 1 1/2-year-old triplets. Not only did she move to Brussels with triplets just a few months ago, but she also brought along her mother. Her father passed away three months before they were supposed to move here and there was no one left to care for her mother who has severe Alzheimer's, so she brought her along too. No one can believe how calm and unfazed by life Maria is -- she is a model to us all.

Because it is my blog and I can, I'll put in my two cents about volunteering. The only way I met all of these amazing women is through my volunteering at the AWCB. Being in membership, I have signed up over 50 women in the last two months. It is always interesting to me to see the different personalities that come through the door. I would estimate that, of the 50 women I have recently signed up, only about 15 of those will do any volunteer work at the club within the next year. Some of the others might get involved at their kids' schools, and the rest will sit at home and complain that they don't have enough friends. Yes, there are ups and downs to volunteering. Sometimes I feel unappreciated and frustrated, but other times I feel great for being able to help out, well informed because I am so involved and always know what is going on, and missed when I am away. I have had such a great time in Brussels because of all the amazing women I have met and I would not have met a fraction of the people I have if it were not for being involved in the American Women's Club.

Live from Croatia

We were pleasantly surprised to find that we have free high-speed Internet in our hotel room, here on the remote island of Kolocep, off the coast of Croatia (near Dubrovnik). It is ironic that when booking hotels for business trips, Kyle has had many instances of asking if a hotel has high-speed Internet, being assured they do, and then, upon arriving, finding that it is either dial-up Internet that you have to pay a lot for it, or there is no Internet at all. Here, we did not even check about the Internet and sure enough, we got it!

We arrived in on Monday after having a quick flight change in Vienna. We had to briskly walk through the Vienna airport to make our next flight, but even at a quick speed, I was amazed at all of the stores and shopping opportunities. I always forget how little worldy commerce Belgium has until I go to any other European country.

Monday we hung out by the pool and relaxed. Tuesday we took the boat into Dubrovnik and wandered around the city for the day. It reminds us both a lot of Venice (minus the canals). But the buildings are all a beautiful sand-colored stone, which gives the city a light, airy feeling. We were able to find the bar that our friends Amy and Nate loved when they were here -- a little hole-in-the-wall place right on the ocean. It was beautiful to sit there enjoying the view.

Wednesday we took a kayak tour around the island we are staying on (Kolocep, pronounced Kolochep). Click here to see how far it was! We swam in this really cool cave and had a nice lunch in the other town on the island. Afterward we took the ferry into Dubrovnik for dinner.

Today we just hung around our hotel and enjoyed sitting out by the pool. I have decided that although I enjoy small islands, I could never live on one. This island has 150 permanent inhabitants and I think I would know each of their life stories in about 2 weeks.

An interesting thing here, as it is through all of Europe, is the topless sunbathing. There was a large group of kids out by the ocean today, all around 8-9 years old. Although most of them had on bathing suits, a few of the girls were only wearing their swimming bottoms. I mentioned to Kyle that I thought they were all close to the age where that probably should not be happening anymore. Just as the words were out of my mouth, though, we glanced to our left and saw a woman about 35 years old lazily walking around topless, so I guess young boys are just used to that sort of thing. The funniest part about the topless woman was that she was with her boyfriend and his friend. I just kept thinking it must be hard to be the friend and act like it is nothing to see the girlfriend of your friend lying around topless. I can tell you that we sat two tables away from them tonight at dinner and all I could think was, "I saw you topless today!"

Tomorrow we are renting a car and heading to Budva, Montenegro (staying in the Hotel Sveti Stefan). Kyle wants to be able to check off a few more countries by driving through Serbia and
Bosnia, but the thought of that scares me a bit. We will see...

(PS--I cannot find the apostrophe on this keyboard, so if some of this has seemed to be oddly phrased, just bear with me.)

On the road again

We finally got our car last week and have been loving it. I never realized how much I thought about and planned my day around when I could catch the bus or when I had to return the Cambio car. Now I can stay out as late as I want -- what freedom!!! Today Kyle and I drove to Tongeren, a town in Belgium that is known for its Sunday antiques fair. The weather was beautful and we had a great time browsing around.

Tomorrow we are headed to Croatia and Montenegro for a week, so I probably won't be posting from there. In the meantime, you can gaze at our car just like we do...

Aunty Em

I had a busy, but nice day. I needed to get some blood work done this morning and while there it struck me just how much one person can make or break your day. The woman working the front desk was flat out rude when I asked her a question. However, you get that often enough that it doesn't phase me too much. Next I went in to get blood drawn and the nurse was so nice. I told him I hated needles/having blood drawn and he said he would even use a children's size needle on me to make me feel better. Just interesting to think that both these people did their job description, but one made me feel bad and the other made me feel so much better.

After that I was off to the NATO Activity Center (or whatever they call it). It is basically a resource center for U.S. Military families here in Brussels to use. They have a library, shopping area, hairdressers etc. I was there to represent the AWCB for the Center's Welcome Fair. I went to this same thing last year and got really homesick after it, not to mention jealous of the people that get to use this place. In the last year I have met some military wives and they always say, "Oh, don't be jealous of the center, it is not that great." Well, it is not great if you are used to going to it often, but if you only get American things after you have flown 9 hours, then it will seem pretty amazing and convient!

While there I came across a vending machine that had Whatchamacallit candy bars and Reese's Pieces candies. I liked both of those in the States, but they weren't ones that I would always pick up first. However, when I saw them today and realized that I was allowed to buy them, I actually let out a squeal. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning -- this kind of candy just for me!!! The center also had a self serve soda fountain (like one you would find anywhere in the States, but are unheard of here). I have gotten used to not having ice in my drinks, but just because I could -- I filled up the whole cup with ice and then Diet Coke. Today was a good reminder to me of why kids shouldn't get everything they want. When you keep something from someone for long enough, it becomes a special treat that can make their whole day. Who knew ice it a cup had that power?!?

I left the NATO Center and picked up my friend Kelly's child Poppy from school. Kelly had to take a quick trip back to the States, so I took care of Poppy for the afternoon. She in just precious. She is 2 1/2 and the most laid back, sweet child around. We had a great time going to the park with our friends Julie Anne, Natan and Kai. After that, we went over to Kate's house to play with her puppy and then back to our house for Mac & Cheese. It was so sweet to see Poppy running over saying, "Emiwy, Emiwy!" I felt like a grandmother because I took so many pictures, but Poppy is so cute I just can't stand it! Click here if you want to see some photos of our play date.

Have you thanked your volunteer today?

The months of August, September and January are always our busiest at the Women's Club. This is because of all the new expats moving here to coincide with the school schedule. Today alone I signed up six new members. I have decided that on average, I spend about 20-30 minutes with each person I sign up. Multiply this by the 40 new members that have signed up these past few months and it all adds up to a lot of talking, venting and questions on the newcomer's part and a lot of listening, sympathizing and work on my part.

I realized today that I need to try and avoid membership/customer service types of jobs in the future. This is because I am too sensitive. At least in a job, you know you are getting paid, so you can ignore some rude comments and just think of the money. But when you are volunteering, you are doing it out of the goodness of your heart, so people being rude to you can hit a little harder. This was the first e-mail I read on Monday morning:

I renewed my membership back in July. I remember being told our membership number and password would remain the same. It seems as this is not the case. I have not received any update on membership number or password. Last year it took about 6 months for me to access the Web site; I hope this is not the case this year.
Please send me my information needed.

The problem with working in membership is that when you realize that 550 members each have an address, e-mail, home phone, cell phone, membership number and Web site password, that gives you 3,300 things to mess up. You could get 95% of those things correct and you would still be messing up 165 people's information.

The majority of our members are really nice people who I enjoy seeing. But it just takes one person to say something rude that can make you wonder why you work so hard. I think many people at the club forget that we are all just volunteers and instead treat us like paid employees. Granted, this was a busier week than normal. But I was doing things at or for the Women's Club for a total of 18 hours this week. Think about it -- 18 hours of doing something you get nothing more than an occasional pat on the back for, and yet people still complain. Ironically enough, it is the people that never volunteer that are the rudest and the people that volunteer all the time that are the nicest.

Food for thought: Are you the complainer or the one that is out there volunteering and trying to make a change?

The Wingfield Warpath

I think I am going to be very disappointed when I move back to the States. I say this because whenever I am misunderstood or someone is rude to me here, I just think, "Once I am back in the States and everyone speaks English, this will be so much better. There is great customer service there and we are all from the same culture, so we will understand each other." However, now that Kyle and Burt are on the warpath against the U.S. Post Office and United Airlines, I am starting to think differently.

Kyle and I are headed to Croatia on September 11. We bought our tickets with our United frequent flier miles four weeks ago. However, since Kyle's mileage number was listed with an address in the States, they had to send the tickets to his Dalton address -- there was no possibility of e-tickets. A week later they arrived at the Wingfields' house. Burt kindly took them to the Post Office. He debated about Global Priority versus registered mail. The clerk told him registered mail was the most secure, so he went with that.

Well it turns out that the tickets were so registered and secure that the Post Office could never track where they actually were. It took Burt three days of phone calls from Dalton to Chattanooga to Nashville to Washington, D.C., to find the tickets. The Post Office finally admitted that the package had been in Atlanta from August 16 to August 24. It was then sent to Miami and was scheduled to leave on Monday the 28th. However, it did not go out that day, and was grounded again Tuesday because of Hurricane Ernesto. The head of the Post Office in Miami told Burt that he would have sent the package to Brussels that day via FedEx, but FedEx wasn't flying out of Miami either at that point due to the hurricane.

Kyle called United Airlines and explained the situation, asking for the tickets to be re-issued, so that we would have them in time for our flight. But the guy at United said that since Kyle actually knew were the tickets were (sitting in the Post Office in Miami) that he could not re-issue them. Yes, if Kyle had said that the tickets were lost, he could get them re-issued, but since they were sitting in an office that was quite possibly be destroyed by a hurricane at that exact same moment and Kyle knew that, then they could not be. We decided to give the Post Office a few days after the hurricane to get the tickets to us and if they still weren't here by this week, we would then say that we had "lost" them. Finally, they came in the mail today -- 20 days after Burt had mailed them in supposedly the most secure way the U.S. Postal Service knows how. All of this to say, avoid using the Post Office and United Airlines, and don't think that just because something is in English that it will make life easier.

Honest Em

If you scroll down, you might notice that I have updated the current book I am reading. I really debated about putting this book up because I think the title is a little overwhelming and makes me sound like something is wrong in my life. However, anyone who knows me really well knows that I love self-help books and had seriously thought about becoming a counselor. (For those who don't know me as well, but want to -- I decided not to become a counselor because I realized that I took too many people's problems home with me and poor Kyle had to become a counselor to me because I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.)

I have read two of books by this author (Dance of Anger and Dance of Intimacy). She really needs help on her titles because the content is so wonderful, but the titles even scare me a little bit. However, I came across Dance of Deception in a used bookstore and decided to give it a try. The basis of the book is how we all need to become more honest and open in our lives. There are so many secrets families carry for generations that affect every person in the family. As hard as it is to be open, I think the more each of us try to keep up an "image" for others, the more dishonest we are being to one another.

The other great thing about this book is that she is not just saying to blurt out everything you have ever kept secret. She walks through the different ways to share information and how to define how much is healthy to share. For instance, I was just thinking, "Well, if I am trying to be so honest maybe I should share something deeply personal in this blog." But this is not the appropriate space. However, if I am in a personal conversation with you, I will try to be open about what is going on in my life. I find it amazing that if I share something, so often the other person will say, "I feel that same way too, but I was too embarrassed to share it." How many of us are "leading lives of quiet desperation?"

One area where I think everyone should become more open is in finances. If you think about it, you might know how your own immediate family members spend their money, but you probably don't know how anyone else manages his or her finances. If you had a very private family, then you might not even know about them. Yet finances dictate so much of your life. Basically, the only other person whose finances I know very well are Kyle's. We both have shared our ideas on how to do things and, because our families are very similar, our ideas of spending and saving are very similar. However, what if we both had bad spending habits? Since we really only could only compare ourselves to each other, we might think that spending our whole income is normal, or that everyone lives in constant debt. I am a firm believer that most people think everyone else does/thinks exactly the same things as they do. I have mentioned to other people that we always pay off our credit cards every month, and so many of them are astonished. If I had never talked to another person about bills, they might think that everyone carries a balance on their credit cards -- and I might still think that everyone pays off their card at the end of every month. If we don't talk about how much we save, how much we spend, and what we think is reasonable among friends, then really we are all just flying blind and trying to keep up with the "norm" -- even though none of us would really know what the "norm" was.

The idea of honesty has also been on my mind recently with the doctoring of both Katie Couric's and Rosie O'Donnell's press photos for their upcoming shows. It makes me so mad that if this had not come out, someone seeing this would think that Rosie had quickly lost a lot of weight and that Katie is such a "normal, cute size" -- and that they should be like that too. My favorite person in this regard is Jamie Lee Curtis. She was brave enough to do two photo shoots for the magazine More. "For one photo, Curtis spent three hours prepping with a team of 13 people making sure she looked just right." For the other photo, she had no makeup, no hair stylist, no special lighting and especially no airbrushing. Click here for the article and photos and here for another great article about the topic. Here's to all women being more honest about their bodies and people being more honest about their lives.