North vs. South

For those of you that might not understand the differences of the North versus the South when it comes to football, I have decided to post a classic e-mail forward that I just love. We are going to a bar to watch the first half of UGA vs. South Carolina and then heading back to our apartment to watch the second half on the Slingbox with 92,746 of our closest friends.

If you want some other good reading material to get you fired up, click here.

WOMENS' ATTIRE
Up north: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.
Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder, mascara(waterproof), concealer, and a fifth of bourbon. Wallet not necessary, that's what dates are for.
STADIUM SIZE
Up north: College football stadiums hold 20,000.
Down South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000.
NAMES
Up north: Doug Flutie
Down South: Herschel Walker
WEATHER
Up north: Snow and ice.
Down South: Sunny, high in the mid-60s, lows in the 30s.
FATHERS
Up north: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
Down South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
ATTIRE
Up north: Male and female alike - woolly sweater or sweatshirt with jeans.
Down South: Male: pressed khakis (with flask of bourbon), oxford shirt and cap with frat logo. Female: ankle-length skirt, boots, oxford. (Note: flask with bourbon is stored somewhere.)
ALUMNI
Up north: Take prospects on sailing trips before they join the law firm.
Down South: Take prospects on fishing trips so they don't leave for the NFL.
CAMPUS DECOR
Up north: Statues of founding fathers.
Down South: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
HOMECOMING QUEEN
Up north: Also a physics major.
Down South: Also Miss USA.
HEROS
Up north: Mario Cuomo
Down South: "Bear" Bryant
GETTING TICKETS
Up north: 5 hours before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still purchase tickets.
Down South: 5 months before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still be placed on a waiting list.
FRIDAY CLASSES AFTER A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME
Up north: Students and teachers are not sure if they are going to the game because they have classes the next day.
Down South: It is considered a campus holiday. Many professors also cancel Thursday classes so everyone can get a head start for the game that night.
PARKING
Up north: An hour before the game, the university opens up the campus parking area.
Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin to roll in on Wednesday for the weekend's festivities. The real faithful come on Tuesday. The die-hards have been there since last week's game.
TAILGATING
Up north: Wieners on the grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
Down South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the hottest band around. Males have at least a handle of bourbon for themselves. Females are giving the choice of drinking beer or bourbon. (Note: drinking beer will lead to them being blackballed from the rest of the group.)
GETTING TO THE STADIUM
Up north: You have to ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in without have to wait in line.
Down South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On gameday, it becomes the state's second largest city.
CONCESSIONS
Up north: Drinks served in paper cup filled to the top with soda.
Down South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot on it filled less than halfway to ensure enough room for bourbon.
WHEN THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED
Up north: Stands are less than half full.
Down South: Crowd sings along in perfect 3-part harmony.
THE SMELL IN THE AIR AFTER THE FIRST SCORE
Up north: Nothing changes.
Down South: Cannon fire with a twist of bourbon.
COMMENTARY (MALE)
Up north: Nice play.
Down South: Dammit you slow sonofabitch tackle him and break his legs!!
COMMENTARY (FEMALE)
Up north: My, this is a violent sport.
Down South: Dammit you slow sonofabitch tackle him and break his legs!!
AFTER THE GAME
Up north: The stadium is empty before the game ends.
Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While someone goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's party.