Tips for a Georgia Girlfriend

I am currently dealing with the repercussions of yet another Georgia loss to Florida. After seven losses in the last nine years, you would think I might be used to it. However, the losses haven't affected me as much as they've affected the boy I was dating at the time. I have only been with Kyle for four of the last seven losses, but before then, I was either dating or had a crush on a boy that was always a big UGA fan. So after suffering through these last seven losses on each weekend in late October, I have a few tips for other Georgia girlfriends on how to handle their significant others after a GA/FL loss.

1. The said boyfriend/crush should not be held responsible for anything that is said or done within the 24 hours preceeding the game or the 8 hours after the game. They are in a zone similar to the one you are in at the After Thanksgiving Day Sales. Unless it deals with football, nothing is registering in their minds.

2. Don’t even try to talk to them at any time before, during or after the game. Having someone to talk to is what your girlfriends are for.

3. You can ask a question about the game, but only between plays and only if it is a somewhat intelligent question.

4. If you are going to scream out loud with everyone, at least know what you are screaming about.

5. If you are going to the game, then wear comfortable shoes. You are only getting dressed up
to impress the other girls, so no guy wants to hear your whining and moaning about how uncomfortable you are.

6. Don’t ever make a guy leave the game early. If you want to leave, then leave on your own and make a plan to meet back up somewhere. But if you make your guy leave any Georgia game early, then everyone around you will be making fun of you in their minds -- you for being a wimp and him for being, well, a wimp.

7. If the Dawgs lose, then just stay silent. There is nothing you have said or done that made your guy mad, so you might as well not bug him. On the same note, there is nothing you can say or do that will make him happy, so again, you might as well not bug him. All he wants to do is commiserate as to why the Dawgs lost, and how they could have scored that extra point, not gotten that flag, etc.

8. This might be a little too Southern sounding for those women libbers out there, but boys only want to talk to other boys about football. Even if you are Melissa Stark, they are really only listening to you to be polite. So just stay out of their way, and discuss among your own girlfriends why the play-action pass was called one too many times.