Blah, blah, blah

I haven't posted anything recently because nothing exciting has really been going on. The Hints for Living in Belgium class has been taking up most of my time. It is two days a week for three weeks so I am ready for it to end.

I have started my French classes and am pleasantly surprised that I am enjoying them. I now have a wonderful teacher and it has really made me realize just what a bad teacher I had the first go around. There are about 19 people in the class from all over the world. Whenever I get frustrated I just look at the Japanese girl next to me and remember that she is not only learning a new language, but a whole new alphabet too. There are some real characters in the class, including the Brazilian woman who seems think she is saying something but is really just merging Portugese, French, and random grunts and sounds all together. We were recently working on numbers and she took off her bifocals and told us she was 42 with a 29 and 25 year old and that she had gotten married at 15. Obviously something got lost in the translation there...

Kyle and I are headed to Amsterdam for the weekend. The tables have turned and I am actually the one going there for a conference on Saturday while Kyle tours around all day. FAWCO is the umbrella organization for all Women's Clubs overseas. This will be the regional conference where club representatives from Amsterdam, The Hague, Rotterdam, Antwerp, Luxembourg, Paris and Stockholm will be in attendance. I'm looking forward to meeting expats from other cities and hearing their stories.

And now for a good laugh:

SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER
--I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
--Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
--I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
--I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
--I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
--I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
--I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
--Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
--Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
--I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
--I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans .
--I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
--And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
--I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
--I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
--I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
--I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
--I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore , and Uzbekistan.
--I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
--Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
--And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I found in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
--I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
--If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with intestinal problems will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....