My brain gets quite a workout over here. Not only is this because I am trying to learn French, but moreover, it is because even when speaking English, I am trying to say the correct word that fits whatever audience I am talking to (whether they are from America, France, Britain, etc).
If I was talking to an American, I would say, “Last week we went on vacation to Salobrena, Spain, with our friend Kelly who went to college in the States. We left our apartment in Brussels on 8/1/2005 at 6pm. Kyle and I had our own room on the second floor of the hotel with an adjoining toilet and bathroom. Unfortunately, there wasn’t an elevator, so the hotel stairs made it difficult to get Kelly’s stroller up and down. Luckily I was wearing my tennis shoes when I walked the stairs, and the exercise helped get my fanny in shape. Also, the stroller only weighed about four pounds. Kelly and I took the car to the grocery store one day and got lots of good food. After standing in line for a long time to check out, we finally loaded it all into the trunk to get it all home. We got chips, pickles, cookies, and fries. While we shopped, Kyle and Rich watched some soccer on the TV.
The first night we went out to a restaurant. I wore pants and a cute sweater. For our appetizer we had grilled zucchini. Our entrée was salmon. For dessert we had scones with whipped cream. The waitress asked how we would like our tea and I said, 'With milk and sugar please.' Overall, we had a great time!"
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If I was talking to a non-American, I would say, "A fortnight ago we went on holiday to Salobrena with our friend Kelly who went to university in America. We left our flat in Brussels on 1/8/2005 at 18h. Kyle and I had our own room on the first floor of the hotel with an adjoining WC. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lift, so the hotel stairs made it difficult to get Kelly’s pushchair up and down. Luckily I was wearing my trainers when I walked the stairs, and the exercise helped get my bum in shape. Also, the pram only weighed about two kilos. Kelly and I took the car to the supermarket one day and got lots of good food. After queuing for a long time to check out, we finally loaded it all into the boot to get it all home. We got crisps, gherkins, biscuits and chips. Whilst we shopped, Kyle and Rich watched some football on the telly.
The first night we went out to a restaurant. I wore trousers and a cute jumper. For our entrée we had grilled courgettes. Our plat was salmon. For afters we had scones with clotted cream. The waitress asked how we would like our tea and I said, 'white with.' Overall, we had a jolly good time!"
**Just a few things to note if you happen to be talking to a Brit---a fanny to them is a girl's front body part, not the behind. They will get quite a chuckle if you call something a fanny pack. A rubber to them is an eraser. When Brits say pants, they mean underwear.
So the worst thing you could ever say in a dressing room in England is, "Does my fanny look big in these pants?" (By the way, this exact thing has been shouted across a dressing room by an American to a British friend of mine and the Brits almost start crying they are laughing so hard when they hear that story.)
1 comment:
Very cute! Should I do the U.S. Yankee version - Perhaps I can do one Italian New Yorker and one Jewish New Yorker..it would be something like this...."....Luckily I was wearing my sneakers when I walked up the stairs, and the exercise helped get my ASS in shape."
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