A Sad Day in Brussels

In sad news the Carney family is moving back to New York. They have been here five years, had two children born here and have made quite a network of friends. They have been packing up since last Tuesday and I am sure it has been quite a tumultuous week for them. Friday morning they will head back to the States and to a whole new life.

One of the saddest things I have heard here is that the hardest adjustment for school age kids to make is not moving abroad, but instead, it is moving back to the States. One woman told me that her children have moved internationally four times and back to the States twice. While abroad, the kids are always going to the local international school where everyone has been new at some point, so most people are pretty accepting. But when her children moved back to the States, people didn't understand where they had been, or why they had been there and they didn't really want to take the time to find out. A majority of the children at the US school had been there for years, so there were plenty of cliques formed and they didn't really care to include anyone new.

As my friend Julie who has just moved back to Minnesota says, "It is hard to sum up six months of living in a foreign country into two sentences, because that is the only amount anyone really cares to hear." Another thing I have heard is that if you have an easy adjustment in living abroad then it will be a harder adjustment moving back and vice versa. I have had a very easy time getting adjusted over here (compared to most) which only leaves me worrying about my adjustment for when we move back. For as many guide books as there are out there concerning being an expat and how to live in a foreign country and I think there needs to be one for having lived in a foreign country and then moving back to your own because that can be as big of an adjustment as anything.

Sam had an interesting realization recently as she was examining everything in her house and then being reminded of memories as she was saying goodbye to friends. Moving from such an extreme situation as we have here in Brussels where friends are your family and everyone if very close knit is almost like dying and seeing a review of your life. You see the impact you have made on people as you move on and they all stay behind.

I hope the Carneys know what an impact they have made on so many lives.